I need someone in my life

I lost the love of my life and I will NEVER EVER forget him and what he taught me in our 33 years of marriage and I will be eternally grateful for that.
Now 19 months on I am feeling I need that someone in my life I need to feel that partnership feeling . I don’t want to forget my husband and never will . The kids have their life which I am grateful for but I just feel mine has come to a standstill.
Rob has always said to me when anything happens to me I want you to be happy and not be in your own being miserable.
I just want the someone to go places with and to start living again , but then I think is it too soon .


@Kazzer hi Kazzer I think you have to do what is right for you and what feels right for you. As you said Rob wanted you to be happy. You will always love Rob and never forget him. Just do what feels right for you. I wish you all the best. Love and hugs xxx

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Kazzer, we are creatures who by nature need a mate and when we lose ours it is horrendous. You are still young and have a lot of years ahead of you so you can choose to live a solitary life or push yourself to get out there and meet someone. It’s been nearly two and a half years since I lost my husband and even a year ago I would never have thought I would let another man into my life but it happened and we spend every weekend together going for meals and days out, we have even booked a holiday for later in the year :parasol_on_ground: It is not the love story I had with my Husband, I know I will never have that again and that’s fine but what I do have is a lovely friendship with someone who makes me laugh and I am at ease with :blush: Only you will know when you feel ready, remember life will never be the same but it is possible to be happy again :grin:


Mrs colt thank you so much and I wish you every happiness god knows we deserve it don’t we . As you say friendship is not the same as we had with our husbands and I’m sure Rob would know there’s is no one who could ever fill his shoes .


I know what you mean, I was married 32 years, together 33 years, even worked together. It’s only been a few week, she too, would want me to move on, but it does make you fed up when you see that you can’t do something, or go somewhere because your single again. I do miss the companionship. It’s almost a social stigma to be single in certain situations. For example, I would never go to a coffee like place by myself, I just wouldn’t enjoy it.


Keiand I glad it’s not just me that would struggle with something like just going into a coffee place on my own . I love northern soul and don’t go to venues coz of having to go alone even though I would probably know a few people inside the venue I just don’t like the thought of driving there alone and walking in alone so it’s easier not to go

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I have free tea or coffee with a garden membership. I can have 2 free drinks per month so I usually play with the phone or Internet etc whilst having the drink, it’s within the garden centre, so not straight from the street. I still feel conscious of being alone. I often look around at other tables, everyone I see are in couples etc. My local vicar suggested a coach trip, but not ready for that but tbh, I can’t see me doing that alone. The problem you get into, is you end up in a circle as don’t go out do want meet others,resulting bring alone. Very difficult almost impossible in todays world.

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I think that when we have had such a close relationship for so long, it’s perfectly ‘normal’ to crave for that feeling of belonging with someone. I think the main problem is whether I feel it would be fair on someone else knowing that they could never come anywhere near to my husband. It’s so difficult, isn’t it? I’ve just taken to going places by myself when I haven’t got a friend to go with. It’s not the same, never will be but it is what it is. I’ve been to the theatre by myself and will be spending some time on holiday by myself (daughter joining me for some of it). I guess I have just resigned myself to the fact that I do it by myself or not at all. Luckily, I do have good friends who I can go places with but, as we all know, they have their own lives as well.

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You are so right Jules, I lost my husband 5 years in November even though I have good family and friends it stills feels weird going places on my own, I never have done, but I think I will have to start doing this, I can’t really see myself going with anyone else :thinking:

All I will say is please be careful about finding someone, even now you may still be vulnerable and there are many unscrupulous people out there.

I can understand what you’re saying. I haven’t got any family local, as mom died in February. Most of my friends also died of old age or suicide. Having given job up as we had plans, I’m trying to get out of a perfect storm. So it is hard to do things by yourself. I had looked at some things but just couldn’t go by myself. So I have to find a way to live by myself and accept some things cannot be done anymore. I have been listening to all the advice and trying to see if any can help me. It’s tough, but that’s the way it is.

I can understand the comments of the posts on here it’s been 8months since carole died and imiss so many things about our relationship but most of all is just being with someone who gets you. I think it will be hard to find someone in any capacity after 45 years of a loving relationship. She saw the best of me and the worst she was my soul mate.

To the people who now find themselves alone and are struggling to go out socially on their own what about this? I can’t personality recommend it as I am lucky enough to have a large social circle but it seems to be a nice way to meet people and make new friends :blush:

I’ve often wondered if friendship groups are best first off -
I’ve had relationships since my partner died and they either feel they live in the shadow of him as I ha he never got over it or it’s been a shadow hanging over us as a family to the point I put everything away and never looked at it - which is why I’m here now trying to deal with the ghosts of everything -

Companionship is a great healer and can bring so much joy - but a relationship has expectations and it’s hard to not expect a new partner (especially someone who hasn’t lost anyone ) to live in the shadow of a great persons memory

I would definitely say in my experience - join all the groups and make friends - people who call in the evening to make plans and chat and want to do like minded stuff and see what pans out

Much love

Mrs colt thank you so much for the recommendation of joining stitch I have done although it’s early days yet but I have enjoyed joining in some of the conversations on there .

Oh that’s good to hear Kazzer, hopefully if there are other members in your area you can meet up :blush: