Hi Keith
I lost my husband very suddenly to cancer, 16 months ago.
I understand your feelings,I am kinda on automatic pilot, work, dogs,home,my daughters are great at uni so have their lives.
People are kind at first but they get in with their own lives and thats understandable.
If you feel you are ready for a friend I hope you find someone special.
Personally I am a long way from that but everyone is different,and take things at their own speed.
Take care
I am so sorry for your loss I know what you mean about work and people getting on with their lives and it leaves you on your own.
I am just no good without someone to share with but I am not rushing things it will happen if it happens.
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and you take care.
Keith you have been grieving for over 4 years. Ever since your partner was diagnosed. So it’s not just 8 months of loss but nearly 5 years. It is natural to wonder if there could be someone out there, someone who could give you joy again. Because I have realised over the last two years that there is no joy in my life now. I have recently wondered the same thing, could there be someone else, and if I were 10 years younger I may even have thought about it seriously but I’m 75 now and I have my rescue dog to keep me busy. Anger is part of grieving. I am still angry at the hospital for letting Vic catch covid in there. After I had kept him safe for so long. I am angry at the snide consultant that said that febrile seizures were only experienced by children. When I begged them to keep him on antibiotics to prevent infections they wouldn’t. Now they know that adults get febrile seizures. They know that I was right. But that doesn’t bring him back so I have to let the anger go. To move on a step so must you. Everything will come at the right time. For now we just have to take one step at a time.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and respond and i hope that you and your dog spend many happy years together and who knows what the future holds for us 
Hello…been reading this thread and feel the same soo lonely after 34 years with the same chap…I feel i will never feel a pair of arms around me again…
Hello Keith
I echo all your thoughts and feelings
I am so sorry that you are feeling the same way as me I hope that things will improve for both of us.
Sorry if you think that this is inappropriate but reading your post makes me sad and want to give you a hug
Keith, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. So much of what you have shared in your message resonates with me. Firstly the undertandable anger. I had a largely sleepless night last night involuntarily thrashing about thoughts in my head relating to the less than adequate support that my wife received from elements of the health service. I understand that it is hard to let go of that. The fact that you are coming up to a planned retirement that is now thrown into disaarray. You make me feel fortunatel to jhave had nearly three years with my wife since I retired albeit with roughly 2 years of that being against the restrictive nature of Covid 19. I can only offer sympathy. I have no answers other than to try and focus on the good times shared and perhaps to not look too far into the future as of course we have had it amply demonstrated to us that those plans can be made meaningless. I feel for you and offer my very best wishes. Regards, Martyn.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support it means a lot.
I found my wife dead when I assumed she was sleeping so I know that feeling of utter disbelief. I tried waking her for ages and then felt how cold she was. I rember calling 999, the girl was so loveky and stayed on the phone till the paramedics came. They were amazing and one of them took me into the other room and made me a coffee whilst her partner worked on my wife but I knew it was too late,
After they left and I was waiting for the funeral directors I snuggled up to her and told her how much I loved her, it’s a day etched permanently on my head, take care and be kind to yourself.
So sorry for your loss stay strong you have friends here
I am so sorry, there are friends here who will listen.
CR73
@Chas
What a terrible shock you had. It must be etched on your mind so clearly.
I too suffered a sudden loss but was spared the sight of it as my husband was away from home when he suffered a coronary embolus.
I hope you will find support on here. There are many lovely people who understand so many aspects of this grief journey we are all on.
Love
Karen xxx
Thank you Karen, losing a loved one in horrible at any time but that day will live in my head permanently. It started as just another day but ended as the worst day of my life. I had bought her a bracelet and left it on the coffee table for her to find, she loved her jewellery. Sadly she never saw the bracelet, I wear it now, she would have loved it. I’m sorry for your loss, you know the pain we are all going through.
Chas xxx
Chas
That is so poignant that you do that. I always thought that would happen to me but it did not. Every morning for years I would wonder if he would be alive as I knew one day he wouldn’t because I knew he had a weak heart. But he died in hospital. And that was horrid thinking it would happen any minute becausecsone he had utvgaoorb several times I. There. But he was saved until he wasn’t. I will always have memories when he nearly died before in hospital when I thought he can’t survive and so I wonder and it goes round in my head forever.
I wear his watch then it broke so wear his slippers. Use his things all the time. Use his gardening tools and anything and don’t care what other people might think or say.
I wear my husband’s socks around the house and I’m wearing his wedding ring. (I’ve not worn my wedding ring for 42 years. It doesn’t fit me now anyway.) I also wear my beautiful diamond and ruby eternity ring that he gave me for our 40th (Ruby) wedding anniversary. I hadn’t thought of wearing his watch but I think I’ll look it out. Everything of his is still where it was 3 months ago, except I finally managed a couple of weeks ago, with the help of my son, to remove the clothes from the chair near the bed, where he’d put them the last time he got undressed and got into bed feeling ill.
When my husband died in September 2021 we had just been to the local garage to enquire about a car for my son and his partner. I therefore gave our son his dads car. It’s comforting somehow to still have it on the drive. Alan loved his Honda Jazz.
My husband told our son to have his car whilst he was in hospital, which has happened. It is nice to still see his car driven by our son.
I know a priest in Norway. His wife died, a friend of mine.
One year later, he posted that he was lonely and wanted a new mate.
When I was there last, he had one. Ole is one of the nicest kindest calmest men I have ever met … but he was a man, too.
If a priest did this, it is quite alright for you too. They know life is miserable alone.