I need support

I don’t know how to cope. Mums dying in hospital and I cannot see her

Hi. Victoria. Welcome. It’s so so hard with this covid around, and so many are cut off by it from seeing their loved ones. You can send love and kind thoughts. Can she use an iPhone? It’s often the only means of communication.
Do they keep you informed about what is happening?
What can anyone say or do to relieve your pain? We all know and understand. Try and take it one day at a time, and look after yourself. Come back and talk to us if it helps. John.

Hi Victoria, I am so sorry about your mum, it is so hard for you , made worse by Covid19.
I don’t know if this will help you but my mum was in a hospice for 7 weeks and we were lucky that we could visit her every day. When she came to pass over she was really unconscious for the last 48 hours. We stayed at her bedside in a side room and it really was awful to watch. It is a memory I wish I did not have. I doubt she knew we were there. I am only telling you this to try and help.
When your mum’s time comes one of you will be allowed in to stay with her and if that isn’t you your mum will still know how much you love her. X

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Thanks for your reply

She is unable to talk and the hospital have told me mixed messages. One minute, I’m told by the nurses she is eating but the doctors say she hasn’t woken up and cannot eat. Why can I not get a full, honest answer?

Thank you for your messages and kindness, it means so much that you took the time to offer support xx

I think sometimes they don’t know the answers and don’t want to give you false hope. I constantly wanted to know how long my mum had and it was only the week before she died we were told she may have a fortnight. X

It seems that Unfortunately painful moments are coming for you. Please get in touch with the sister nurse and request to talk with doctor. Then ask all the questions and how they can help you when her time come. Cojld uou transfer her. Can hospital transfer her .
Perhaps you have time to take your mum to a hospice where you can see her everyday. Hospital could allow you yo see her if she hasn’t Covid19th.
Get to see her also would help you when the grieving process,
Some hospice require the patient to be referred to them by the hospital or GP,
Best wishes

Dear Victoria 78
I have read what you wrote about your mum in your profile. This can only be seen when people click on your name, rather than read your post. I am so sorry that you are not getting more help from the hospital, Your mother is obviously seriously ill, and to hear that she also has Covid must make you so worried. The fact that you are in a high risk group will make it almost certainly impossible to visit her. (By the way, were you in close contact with your mum before she went into hospital and have you had a Covid test yourself to make sure that you are okay?). Even if your mum cannot talk, she may be able to hear you if your were given the chance to talk to her over the phone, arranged by a nurse, even if only to tell her that you love her and that in your thoughts you are with her. Are you her next of kin? If so, you should be able to speak with her doctor or a nurse in charge, to get information about your mum’s situation and what doctors are expecting to happen. Mu thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

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