It is three weeks since Jeremy died. In accordance with his wishes there will be no funeral service. I think I am alright with that but I need to tell his/our story.
We were both widowed when we met through mutual friends. My first husband died after a cardiac arrest, his wife died after a long battle with cancer. I wasn’t looking for a new relationship. I have a son and a disabled daughter and she was my reason for living, she needs me so much.
Jeremy became a friend and he was just so lovely and supportive with my daughter. Eventually we married. He gave up his life, job and house and became the best stepdad, never minding that my daughter and son always came first. He was the kindest, and most selfless man. We never had a social life, we were just happy with each other. He had no family, apart from my children all of my family have died, so there was just us. That is part of the reason that there will not be a ceremony. But such a good person deserves his story to be told.
I have said that we didn’t need friends, but I wish we did. Then there would be people to mourn his passing apart from me and my children.
It is a cruel trick of fate that just like my first husband, Jeremy also suffered a cardiac arrest.
I am just so devastated, but this is his story, not mine.
Xx
What a lovely man!
So very sorry for your loss
Rose xx
He sounds like a wonderful man. Sending you all the best and hoping that you find comfort somehow.
I’m so sorry for your loss
He sounds a lovely man
You were lucky to find each other
Sending a big hug x
You are right you both deserve your story to be told, are both wonderful caring people and he will live on in your hearts that is the greatest legacy for him.
Take care of yourself ans treasure all your wonderful memories.
The funeral service isn’t his story.
Everything you’ve told us, every precious memory you hold, every memory your son and daughter hold, is his story and you’re right to tell it, as often as you like xx
Willow 112 thank you for sharing yr story.
Jeremy sounded like a very kind and caring man.
So, now I am dragging myself through each hour. Missing his hand to hold, missing waking up next to him, missing his unwavering support, missing the physical help with caring for our daughter, his practical and technical skills.
Having caring responsibilities is a double edged sword. I can’t go out and make new friends, or look forward to weekends away. I can’t ‘make my life bigger’ in order to make the grief smaller like all the books say. But, the positive side is that having my daughter makes me get up, wash, cook and clean and try to seem normal, patient and cheerful. She gives structure to my day and prevents me sinking into the mire of hopeless grief. At least on the surface, anyway. But when she is in bed I stuff a cushion in my mouth and howl and cry!
Sending you a very big hug xx
Yes hour by hour then day by day. You have the strength and resilience and it will build.
He will always be with you and your daughter .
Keep posting ranting grieving we are all here we all care and will be here .
Take care
Oh @Willow112
I feel your pain I really do 
I’m sure you are aware of support that is available to you from adult social services, such as rest bite and maybe a sitting service so you can have time for yourself.
It’s bloody hard isn’t it. I hope that you’ll be ok!
Xx
You take care --BIG HUG
So sorry for your lose, i really feel for you. But it sounds like you had so much love together 
Thank you. We did, having both been widowed, we were so very grateful to have found each other. Now I am left wondering why fate took him from us. Were we too smug? Each night I would thank God that we had met. I knew just how lucky I was to find someone to love us. But now he has been taken too.
Sorry, it’s late and I am feeling sorry for myself. But thank you for your support. It means such a lot, especially as I know that you are hurting too. Xx
Dear Willow,
I think we all wonder why, I certainly do.
So many of us apologise and tell ourselves and others that we are feeling sorry for ourselves, as if it’s a bad thing.
That includes me.
When we are down and trying to cope that is how we feel.
We are grieving, we have lost someone precious to us. So honestly, why shouldn’t we feel sorry for ourselves as well as our loved one and others hurting from the loss.
You can tell I’m feeling a bit better as here I go again but the sermon is over.
Thinking of you and sending a big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
Totally s agree with Rose.
I find myself apologising (even to my adult children) if I get sad talking about my partner.
We should embrace the out-pouring of grief as we loved them and they loved us so much. I want people to know how much I loved him … yet why do I apologise for the tears???
Big hugs to all xxx
I’m the same, constantly apologising for being upset.
My daughter tells me off for saying sorry.
We shouldnt apologise, were grieving and if people dont get it , well I hope they never have to find out
Love and big hugs to everyone x
How lucky you both were to find each other. He sounds amazing Don’t EVER stop talking about him. The funeral is just a ceremony that had to be held. It is nothing compared to the life you and him and your children shared. That’s what matters.
Thank you for sharing. Take care of yourself xx
Hiya Willow my Darling husband was also my second husband, like yourself we had both lost previous partners mine to a dvt, his to a brain hemorage. We met in a widow and widowers chat room 19 yrs ago. He lived over a four hr journeys from me. He gave everything to be with me we married in 2008 August 2nd. Bless him he passed away on june 17th 2024 just over a week ago. With heart failure. Like yourself i cant sleep or eat i just dont know where i want to be other than with Graham. Like yourself we have no friends and he will be cremated on wednesday morning at 8.45. It was his wishes to have no funeral. I dont want the day to come i just want him back. Xxx