I still can't believe ma mam has gone

My partner has just took the dog for a walk. I’m sitting in the livingroom, thinking this is when I would call my mam for a catch up. I’m sitting here with a heavy heart. I still can’t believe she has gone. I’ve kept her messages on my mobile. Looking back on them makes me sad but some of the things we used to text each other was so funny. I miss them messages so much. As the months go by I remember all the good times we had and I wish she was here to have some more good times. I’ve still got her ashes I’ve put them in my craft room as she used to sew. I never thought I would ever keep ashes however I don’t ever think I could let them go. I go in there some days when I’m having a bad day and talk away at them. Is this wrong should I do something with them.

I’ve still got mums ashes and I can’t let them go. Although the majority of her ashes my dad scattered at her favourite beach.

But I keep a little pot with me as I think she would like that. She loved being with me.

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I’ve had my Dads ashes tucked away out of site for over twenty years. My Mums ashes are now in the bedroom next to his ashes. My Mum passed away just over 9 months ago.
I’ve always found a great comfort from having my Dads ashes in the house and I already feel the same about my Mum.
I want what little that is left with me. They are tucked out of the way, so I don’t have to think about the ashes every day.
I grieve every day, but don’t often think of the ashes.

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