Reading everyone posts and it’s got me tearful as I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer coming up to 10 years this march I know its a long time to some but to me it still feels like yesterday. My mum was only 56 when she got diagnosed she died 7 weeks 2 days later in my arms and Ive never been the same since Ive been snappy grumpy and even not gone out to socialise I’m married to a wonderful husband and I have a 20 year old daughter I must of been a nightmare to live with but I miss my mum every single day I don’t think it gets easier but you do learn to cope half of me went when my mum did I think everyone grieves differently but to lose anyone close is traumatic
Hi. I lost my mum 9 months ago and my world has completely fallen apart. She was 71 which people say is a good age to get to. (Not helpful). She passed away surrounded with family which is no comfort at all. She did have a lot of health problems but still. Went in for a routine op was due to come home an suffered a massive heart attack. Resulted in major organ failure. She fought for 12 days. We were told several times she would die. Still she kept fighting. I was by her side all day every day. Finally we were told there was no more they could do. She passed away 10 minute’s later. I just can’t get my head around it. I’m haunted by her in that hospital bed.
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Hi to both of you.
Lost my Mum seven months ago and yes it has changed my life completely. I feel I am not the person I was before. Agree this saying people have reached a good age is most annoying and unhelpful. My Mum was in her 90s and I still had so much to say to her and I think her to me.
I take each day as it comes, some bad, some slightly better.
Mel
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Hi folks,
Lost my mum last November and feeling like my world has impacted in on itself. I was her full time carer for a few years and all of a sudden my role in life disappeared when my mother passed. She was 88. “Good innings”, some bright spark who has never lost anyone, remarked. My thought were unprintable.
Bad day today. Woke this morning with a lump in my throat and it is still there. Kept feeling dreadful as the day progressed. Gate crashed Cruse in Swansea and found myself inconsolable…the tears came in bucketful’s.
I am aware that I have definitely changed, not for the best either. feeling very isolated and despondent all the time.
Not really looking forward to the spring/summer (if it ever gets here) since it will only make me feel more mournful since with the warm weather we would go out, my mother in her wheelchair. That is all gone. I find it painful to go to familiar sites we used to visit…It is all too painful.
I too am taking everything on a day to day basis. But it is coming home to the empty nest that brings on the tears.
I am 52 and have to start all over again…hunting for work and so on. I am applying for voluntary work with RNIB and Oxfam bookshop, just applied for the woodland trust, to get me out of the home and give me a goal to be less preoccupied by loss…but I still feel very wretched and low. I was thinking to myself in the early hours of 30 odd years of this pain to go. I have been assured that the pain will lessen with time. But I have an acquaintance who was in a similar circumstances…he lost his mother 20 years ago and it is still raw with him today. I don’t really know what to do or suggest that can be helpful to any of us. Apart from try and be gentle with yourselves.
Dave
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It dosnt matter what age your mum was your mum is your mum no matter what and 9/10 of people who say that have obviously not lost theirs xx
Aww dave i feel u i really do.i dread mothers day as i lavished her with gifts and took her out for dinner.my friends have a mum/daughter spa day i cant do that its the little things that get me x
My mum died unexpectedly in September at 81.i miss her every single day, and cry every night once the children are in bed. Mother’s Day will be tough this year as I want to spend it quietly thinking of her, but feel I need to make an effort for my children.
Thanks for the message and sorry it has taken so long to reply. I am feeling run down at the present and my ability to reply is a bit dulled by my perennial tiredness.
It is the daft minutia of life that cripples me. That sends me into an anxious spin and the tears flow. mother’s day and all the trappings that will be a hurdle to get over…somebody remarked that mother’s day was invented by the card manufacturers. so I will try and keep that in mind.
Take care
Dave