I lost my husband 9 weeks ago and it’s awful some days I can hardly get out of bed. I can be shopping and just start crying. I’m just sad. I loved Kris so much and without him by my side I feel nothing but grief.
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So sorry for your loss its so painful what we’re all going through like you i lost my husband suddenly 2 day’s before Christmas im now 4 months in and sorry to say it just getting worse ( for me anyway) just feeling empty now as we we’re together for 40 yrs since i ws 15 so sad he ws only 57 and healthy (so we thought) We just need to take everyday as it comes and try to process this nightmare Take care x
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Hi @Merchants I’m sorry for your loss.
Were on a similar timeline and I’m afraid I’m not finding it any easier, and I do know exactly how you feel.
And @Mia121 I think I’ll find it harder as time goes on, we were together 42 years, married for 12. It was second time around for both of us so we had a good long time, but it wasn’t enough, he was the love of my life, and I his, I wish we’d met before. But it never would have been enough and I know I’ll never get over it. I think the best we can hope for is getting used to it. But the pain and loss and lonliness will always be there
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Thank you for responding. We were only together 14 years second time round for us. But we had the most joyous relationship full of laughs and companionship together. The worst are the long evenings then the dreaded going to bed. Just so awful. I’ve never felt so much loss in my life as I do now. I can’t give you any advice so so sorry you have to go through all this pain
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@Merchants
Please dont be sorry, but I don’t think any of us can give advice, just listen and maybe make suggestions. But ultimately we have to find our own way to cope. Its a long lonely road we’re on. But being able to talk to each other does help
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So sorry for your loss I lost my fiancé 9 months ago and feels like yesterday x
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I was with my wife for 20 years and your memories sound so much like mine. The thing is, my mind withheld the memories of our life together at first. I remember longing to remember but for some reason my mind wouldn’t let me.
But I remembered all the laughter we had together just as you do, And I so understand the empty bed. I actually still sleep in the same bed my wife died in. I just don’t see any reason to change everything up right now. The memories are starting to come through now after a little more than a year.
It’s hard to come home when nobodies there. I so understand that one. I think somehow we’re stronger together. That’s why I keep coming here.
I just wanted you to know that I not only feel your pain but understand it as well. You’re not alone in this.
I wish you peace
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I lost my partner of 30 years on 9th March. He was only 50, fit and well and it was completely unexpected. Im self employed and working when I can but do feel my cycle of grief has moved to a different level. I feel so lonely, even though I have an amazing support network. Just looking at his empty spot on the sofa makes me cry. So many times I want to call or message him to share some news. There’s always going to be a before and an after. I find it particularly tough spending time with all our couple friends. I love them all and they’ve been amazing, but it makes me feel so alone. We had so much ahead of us and I feel robbed of him but also our future. I can’t imagine finding joy ever again but I know it’s early days. Sending love to everyone in a similar situation.
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So sorry suzie to hear of your sad loss Its just so heartbreaking losing someone unexpectedly Im the same lost my husband suddenly 2 days before Christmas in spain after just arriving hrs before in bef whilst we slept getting woken up to him passing He like your loss ws fit and healthy we thought Im now 4 months into this horrendous nightmare and honestly can believe ive got here and still cant process what happened My son who ws also there at seen his dad pass its dealing with this so much better than me ( hes very deep) Im just crying in between trying to do daily tasks We just have to take care of ourselves which is so hardvto do and keep getting told Big hugs and just keep taking deep breaths
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So sorry for your loss. No words really. It’s a journey that we face alone even with kind words of support and advice. We have to soldier on with this haze, loneliness, tears. Be Strong.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m 9 weeks into this journey and would like to say its getting easier, but its not. I think loneliness is par for the course, even with a lot of support, I still feel lonely. Its because the one thing we want to make our lives “normal” has gone and somehow we have to accept that.
Sending love and hugs to everyone
Take care
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Sending love to you. Everyone keeps telling me its tiny steps, one day at a time etc. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in this situation, but this forum shows our situation is sadly far more common.
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So very sorry.
My husband was older but seemed fit and healthy for his age.
His death was totally unexpected , no signs or symptoms and so, so quick.
The empty chair is a dreadful reminder. I totally understand how you are feeling.
The loss of the person, the loss of the couple, the loss of a future is totally devastating.
I wish I could give you a magic answer to make it go away.
I just want you to know that on this site, so many of us share your feelings and understand what you are going through.
Sending hugs x
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Thank you so much x
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Hi @SusieB123, @RoseGarden is so right. My husband was older too, but it doesnt stop the pain. It wasnt sudden but from when we had the diagnosis until he passed away was only a very short 6 weeks, not enough time to process it and much too soon for him to go.
I too have amazing support, but when it all comes down to it, we’re alone with our heartbeak and devastation. My daughter and her husband thought moving the furniture around would help, but although I didn’t mind, it makes no difference, he’s still not there. This week they thought it would be a good idea for me to look after my Grandaughters dog. He’s as good as gold and it is a bit of company, but Rogers still not here, i dont think anyone or anything is going to stop the pain of missing him. Tonight the dog gave a low snore, just for a fleeting moment I thought it was Roger sleeping on the sofa, i looked up startled and then the realisation hit. I was heartbroken again. Just writing this has me in tears
When will this pain and longing give way to acceptance? Will it ever?
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Hi @Liro,
tonight and early hours it’s hit me hard again.
Still downstairs as the elderly cat who has been my constant companion is not well.
The room feels so empty as he is not sitting in his usual armchair.
I had an ok morning so this is quite a dip.
We are both reasonably new to all this and struggling to find our way.
Take care x
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Hello night time is always difficult for me, in the daytime I try to keep busy, now I can see hours stretching out in front of me.My beloved Husband has been gone four years and two months, it feels like yesterday. I can understand you and know this awful awful feeling can seem to come out of nowhere .I don’t think we cannot judge our feelings by time , though I have more better days now if you can call them that,and I really believe we grieve as individuals,so just take your time.I am sorry that your cat is unwell , that is another additional worry for you. I hope you can manage some sleep as I do now grief is exhausting. Sending you love and light 
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Sorry to hear your cat is unwell. Just an additional worry when you don’t need it.
Everything feels so much worse in the mighttime doesn’t it . I think its easier to distract yourself during the day.
I hope you can manage to get some sleep. Remember caring thoughts are with you
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Thank you 