I new here and up until now have been coping ok apart from the odd moments.
My partner of 46 years ( I was 13 and he was 16 when we meet ) died very suddenly and so unexpectedly while we were on holiday in Northumberland.
At 4.00am I woke to go to the toilet, he woke up as the Dogs had sturd and we were both out side on the patio while the dogs had a wee. Then went back to bed, at 5.30am I heard strange breathing sounds and he was gone.
That was 8 weeks ago, I have kept myself busy, have great friends and the dogs keep me going. Started back to work last week and it was good but got to work this morning and couldn’t stop crying so came home.
We had the most loving relationship and he made me laugh every day.
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Hi @Carol17 I’m so sorry for your loss
I too am 8 weeks in, it doesnt get any easier does it?
Beinf on thus forum has shown me that what we’re feeling is normal and to never think we’re handling it the wrong way.
I do find some comfort posting on here with people who are all going through the same thing, people who really understand
Love and hugs
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My deepest sympathy, the shock of losing someone so suddenly is devastating, it’s coming up to 9 months now for me and I still can’t believe he has gone. Keeping busy is what keeps me going. Time for you is short and I am glad you have a good support network, if you are like me you will have good days and bad days, what you can cope with one day is not so easy on another.
Be kind to yourself and take care 
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@Carol17 I am so sorry for the unexpected loss of your dear partner.
My wife and I lived in Sheffield for 23 years and planned to moved to Northumberland before she was diagnosed, which I have now done as that was her wish.
This site has helped me enormously since she died in late September, reading that what all of us are feeling, doing, etc is not unique I find reassuring.
So keep checking in and post your feelings when you feel the need to, no judges.
Remember to be kind to yourself
Take care…Pete
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It is such a short time since your loss. Although, in some ways, it probably feels like a lifetime. I know, as It has been just a matter of weeks for me as well.
We cannot predict when we will cry, or fully know what can trigger it. It can be something very significant or something you never thought would affect you.
I think you are also still in shock.
Sending you love and understanding.
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Thanks everyone, reading all of your comments really help. Its good to find people who really understand.
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@Carol17 I am so sorry for your loss. I am on a similar time line to you and lost my husband suddenly at the end of February. Today has been an odd day for me. I woke up very sad and have been acutely aware all day that he has gone. It’s almost as if my brain has finally processed something. I wonder if this is a new stage in the grief process? It’s awful though isn’t it? At least we all have each other on here x
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Bless you, how very sad. Sending love and light x
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I to lost my husband very suddenly, initially i was in denial, but that is fading now so i feel a lot of panic, and utter despare. The emotions just keep coming i felt a calm come over me a few days ago ,like he was present watching me ,the last few days i don’t feel his presence so the panic and anxiety are taking over again. I try to take each hour as it comes ,and keep visiting this site. It offers comfort to realise sadly so many of us are feeling the same. Take care of yourself x
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I’m so sorry for your loss he will always be with you take time to grieve as grief is love with no place to go I lost my angel 9 months ago feels like yesterday seems daft to me wondering what he’s doing now and hoping he’s not alone up their and if he’s met my parents yet and friends
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So sorry for your loss. I lost my dearest husband so suddenly and unexpectedly too over 11 months ago to cardiac arrest while at work. Some days it feels like it happened ages ago and some days feels so raw like it was yesterday. The sadness and pain remain the same throughout and I don’t believe it will lessen till the day I stop breathing all I can hope for is to get used to it that’s all.
We all here are going through the same sad and painful journey so we understand what you are experiencing so please keep sharing on this amazing forum.
Sending big hugs x
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So very true the panic is awful x
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I am sure that your loved one is with others that have passed on before, grief is definitely love with nowhere to go xx
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Its terrible what we’re all having to deal with and as you say some times you feel ok ( I think thats the numb stange) and maybe our brain needs a rest then from nowhere it hits you and can’t stop thinking whats happened and tears keep flowing Im 17 weeks now in this terrible nightmare wishing that I’ll waken up I too like so many of us lost my husband suddenly 2 days before Christmas in spain He ws happy to get there fool of life and within hrs after arriving passed infront of me and son We just couldn’t waken him up or get him out of bed I just keep saying hes still sleeping waiting to waken up to go Christmas shopping and then celebrate Its just so awful for him and im lost after being together since i ws 15 he ws 17 and being together 40 yrs Im now just keeping myself away from everyone as so exhausted trying to put a face on As now ive been told should be starting to feel better No one understands till they experience this or maybe they haven’t hot that loving relationship we had I so loved being married and now can’t imagine life without him Love to everyone going through this pain xxx
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Hello it is exhausting trying to keep a happy face on to suit other people and make
them happy. The one day I actually stayed in bed , I was exhausted on top of grieving someone who was my Mr everything. MyMom came in and said "get up I don’t like to see you like that ", well pardon me for feeling like I had lost everything.
Take as much time as you need, the shock , let alone your loss must be immense, everyone grieves in different ways. Xx
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Thanks Ivy1 we’re all just trying to do best we can I sit at night waiting for son going to bed then pour myself a glass of wine and have a good cry Im lucky he still stays with me ( adult age ) but hes got his life to live I feel now I’ve had mine with husband and no future to look forward too Maybe we did all ours cause we were always so happy doing everything together Its such a lonely feeling to have Sending hugs too you x
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I feel exactly the same way we were very happy and at times I wonder if that is it. Almost like have I used my happiness up. My lovely Man has now been gone over four years and I would like to say I feel better, but I don’t, but for appearance sake I smile and make everyone else happy. Some days are slightly better than others then I look at his photos and think I have dreamt it. I suppose it will take a long time to get over being with someone for 36 years. I always say when I first met him he took my breath away , he still does. Take great care xx
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I remember those first days. I think our minds insulate us from what’s happening at first, or in other words, we go into shock. And there really is so much to do at first which is probably more of a blessing than a curse.
I started back to work fairly quickly as well. The distraction was good I think. Just know that as the emotions begin to hit you that you’re not alone. And in this place there is understanding and compassion that can only come from others who have been there.
I wish you peace
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I’m also very new to this forum and lost my partner around 4 weeks ago . It’s hard and I feel after a while people don’t want to know anymore . I take it hour by hour rather than day by day. Wary of when emotions will leap out and bop me on the nose. Take Care x
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HI @Jarrow I’m sorry for your loss.
You’ve come to the right place, we all know how you’re suffering and we’re all on this horrendous journey they call grief. You’re right to take it hour by hour. Those emotions will come and bop you at all sorts of odd times, I’m afraid, somehow we have to learn to deal with them. (Says the one that cries a lot and at anytime) There’s no rhyme or reason, we just have to get through however we can. I’m 8 1/2 weeks in and sometimes I think I’m ok, for about 5 minutes, and then its all back again. I think the best we can hope for is that we will learn to live with it.
Please keep posting, there are so many like minded people on here and it really helps.
Take care
Love and hugs