Hello
For those that remember me, I thought I would drop by and see how you are all doing? Last time I was on here I was still counting in the weeks of grieving my Jim but unbelievably it is now 8mths. It is like time has stood still frozen in the ether somewhere as I am unable to comprehend any sense of time or ‘normality’. In July my mother died and just 7 wks ago I lost my beautiful little soulmate, my constant companion of 15 yrs my dog Sammy. This year has been the worst of my life and I no longer know who I am grieving for but the one that does stand out is the loss of myself, all my history and connection to love has been wiped out. I am alone in the world and it’s strange, lonely, heartbreaking but I’m still here putting one foot in front of the other, daring not to think about the future which offers no stability no dreams coming true and full of fear of the unknown. How have we survived? We must be incredibly brave, strong and courageous…my words to describe all of this is ‘no choice’ it kind of sums it all up.
Anyway how is everyone doing?
Lyn
Hi @Sarlyn it’s so nice to hear from you and have you come back. For me it’s 10 months on Sunday, some days are still hard but not all bad. I can’t believe how quick the time is going but life is ok and worth living. Life goes on, as you say, we have no choice.
I’m sorry to hear about your major losses on top of your husband. That is a lot to deal with.
I have no answers or solutions but it’s good to see you back.
Hello, I remember you, I had 2 bereavements within months & I do look back now & think how did I carry on?
Also the biggest question why them & why me which still plagues me if I’m having a down day.
Thanks @Ali29
I was thinking of you all, my grief buddies, as we travel this road together. I’m glad you are coping ok and being positive as always.
I will be glad to see the back of this year, knowing it can’t get any worse, only better
Hello @Flower_garden
Hope you are ok and sorry to hear you have had more bereavement, like me. I still ask the same questions but to there are no answers sadly. We have to keep going but it requires a lot of strength and courage and I’m exhausted with it all but still going step by step
I’m new to this sad club but this forum has been a good send, such a lot of support from others on here. I’m terrified of the future and finding it hard to see my way ahead. It’s reassuring to hear your stories you have all been so strong thank you for being here
Hi Sarlyn i am also newto this group but already finding comfort from knowing i am not alone feeling like this. I am coming up to 11 mth and have used some of my time attending family events . It was good to be able to go to these but sad that i had to go alone as these were times my other half would have loved . I still wept almost every night i was away. . I am still trying to find me ,who i am and what i can do.you can only clean out cupboards so many times. I am sendinfga group hug to anyone who needs it tonight. Xx :
They say times a healing process it’s coming up to 10 months for me and I’m still feeling lost, and emotional have no one to get out of bed for no one to talk about things with, no one to say I love you, for me as time passes by I feel more alone, however I also feel calm for some reason so that in itself must be the healing process people talk about so I carry on with knowing that he loved me and he choose me to be is wife x
Calm must be a relief I hope to feel soon x
Hopefully you will soon
Hi sarlyn. I still feel lost and everyone says its supposed to get easier over time.but it doesn’t feel like it but I made sue a promise to carry on fighting for life and I will honour the promise I made .even though some days I really don’t want to be here but its not fair on my daughter stepson and family
Hi youve had a nightmare in the last 8 months , i lost Paula a year on November 7th and ive had a lot of help 1-1 counselling and Grief groupwork. Im at a stage where ive accepted Paula is gone she wont be back ,i will always miss her have good and bad days all my life i think. I felt guilty for saying this but i think im now grieving my life thats gone in order to deal with loss and move forward to whatever the new norm is as im not the same person that i was physically and mentally.
@Billyh67
It has been the worst year of my life, I now have no remaining family so completely alone in this world. I like yourself am now also grieving my own life and how I navigate what I do with the rest of it as a huge part of me died too. All my history, connection and love has gone with them all but we have to move forward because we have no choice. It is daunting having a ‘blank canvass’ I am taking everything one day at a time and trying to rebuild my life with the help of some great friends. Let me know how you get on and any advice you pick up along the way
Lyn
@Sarlyn you really have had an awful year. Your losses have been many and it must have turned your world upside down. I know that just losing my partner and soulmate of 35 years has been devastating, 17 weeks tomorrow, the thought of further losses on top of that is unthinkable
It’s good that you have been able to come back to the community, it has been a great help to me to have somewhere to come just to ramble and express my thoughts and feelings knowing that no one is judging. We are all here for the same reason, some handling it better than others but all trying to support each other.
Keep posting and try to stay strong, we will all get through this together x
@Billyh67 to be honest I really believe grief is all about ourselves. I like to think that those who have passed away are in resting in peace and it is those of us that have been left behind are the ones with the pain. We have lost our normality, our lives have been turned upside down and we are lost and for many of us we have no idea of how to carry on. I consider myself fortunate because I have a strong network of family and friends who are there for me and because Chris and I did lots of things independently I have been able to pick up on those activities, it’s the evenings and often long weekends that are so hard, he’s not here to chat with and catch up on the days events. To discuss what we are going to watch on the telly, what to have for dinner the next day, silly little things that just made us a partnership and know it’s just me and all those things that made me happy have been taken away
Dear Annde, you have almost summed up exactly how I feel, it’s those simple conversations about “what’s for dinner, what’s on TV” etc that I miss so much. There is no one to tell about the everyday things that have happened. It’s not having your soul mate who understands what and how you are feeling that’s so hard. That is irreplaceable isn’t it and the loss is almost impossible to live with…
I fully understand how you feel, it’s been only 8 weeks since I lost my husband following just one week in hospital. I am trying so hard to live day to day. Keep strong, sending lots of love x