I thought last year was awful!!

Last year my beautiful daughter took very sick and had life saving surgery. They didn’t think she would survive but she did. She will be attending hospital though for the rest of her life. But we got to this time and I said thank goodness the year was over and we had got through it and 2018 couldn’t be any worse. How wrong can you be. My son died in July in an accident and my world changed. Now we’re at the end of the year again and I approach 2019 with nervous worry. What disaster will happen this time. Can life throw anymore pain at us. My heart is broken anyway so that won’t happen again. My life is now about supporting my daughter. I thought at this age in life I could have a little bit of happiness but that’s not to be. Sorry for rambling. I hate this time of year. My dad died on New year’s Eve too. I do know I’m not alone in feeling pain…x

Hey, Orchard, you’ve certainly had a lot of terrible things thrown at you - I’m so sorry about your son and your dad. I don’t blame you at alkl for waiting for the next shoe to drop. You are not rambling at all - I’m so glad this terrific community exists so that we can just drop in anytime.

I hope that you’ll find time to take care of you, as you grieve and care for your daughter,


Louise xo

Thank you Louise for replying. I agree with you about this community, it is so valuable to us all. We all have to keep going though don’t we, we have no choice. Take care Geraldine xo

Hi Orchard. I fully understand where you are coming from, also you are not rambling. Better to write all these thoughts down in the order they arise than not posting for fear of not articulating. Grief comes at you in this jumble of thoughts doesn’t it?
I too thought 2018 had to be better. So did my precious daughter. Not to be. It does make you fearful of the future. I believe we are suffering from post traumatic stress, understandably so. On top of this you have your daughter to care for and this must be overwhelming. There is only so much a human being can take. Grief alone is exhausting.
Sending you love and hugs and will be thinking of you and your daughter. Xx

Thank you so much matella for replying to me. Someone else also said they think we have post traumatic stress. I think you’re right about only being so much anybody can take and I’m at my limit. I ask my son now for the strength to keep going and if he can to keep his sister well. I’m sorry you know this pain to through the loss of your daughter. Life is only beautiful for some, it’s unbelievably hard for a lot. Love and hugs to you xo