My dad died on New Year’s Eve and I was with him. I’d held his hand and laid with him as he died. When he died I kissed his forehead, thanked him again for being my dad. I said goodbye to him then.
Mum is insisting on a church service, wake and then another service at the crematorium. I don’t want to go to a service, even though I’ve arranged it because mum wants it. I’ve already said goodbye to dad. I don’t want to see a box that he’s in, I want to keep the memory of him lying down and peaceful. . I’ve spent time with mum and talk with her every day. I’m coping and dealing with my sadness in my own way. If I try to talk about dad to anyone else I mostly get ‘it was good you were with him’ . No one really wants to hear, so why go through services where people don’t really want to talk about dad. I don’t know what to do
. I don’t understand when people say closure. Closure of what? And I hate people telling me I lost my dad. I didn’t lose him. I was there with him. He didn’t leave me, he didn’t pass way, he died. He died because he was very ill. It wasn’t a blessing. It wasn’t for the best.