I want my Dad back

It’s been 3 months since my Dad passed away suddenly. I just keep wanting to wind back time and see if I could do something to stop what happened from happening or thinking somehow I can make him come back. I just can’t seem to accept that he is gone and isn’t coming back to life. Just can’t get my head around it. How can someone be so full of life one day and be gone the next? Will I ever accept what has happened? The sudden nature of his death has caused me to feel very anxious and have chest pains and other symptoms. It’s so hard. I just want my Dad back and miss him so much.

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I absolutely feel the same way. My grandparents deteriorated before they passed away. My grandma lost her ability to communicate (Alzheimer’s) and slipped into a coma with pneumonia. My grandad became more and more frail, and whispered to me that he was ready to go.

My dad? My dad was as sprightly as he always had been. Lord, it was sawing wood in the back garden that caused his heart attack. I think the only thing that my dad no longer did, which he had done in younger years, was go up the ladder and onto the roof, and that’s only because my mum insisted that he didn’t.

So, like you, I can’t get my head around him being here, sprightly, full of life, and then, gone.

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It’s just mind-blowing really. I want to say goodbye properly. It’s so hard. Sorry for your loss.

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This is something I am struggling with when my mom passed away 7 months back, she was laughing, serving us food and gone within 2 mins, so many questions whose answer I am not gonna get, every morning I experience chest pain, severe acidity, headache and nightmares. No therapy or counselling is helping. I try to take one day at a time but being just 26 I am lost in my life now, don’t know why it happened so suddenly, we had our birthdays together and now that day has become the most awful. I have joined yoga and meditation classes and it helps, but breakdowns happen someday. I am going for silent meditation next week for 10 day course

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I’m so sorry for your loss of your mum and at such a young age. I wasn’t there when my Dad collapsed from a cardiac arrest, but was there by his side when he took his last breath. He was deeply unconscious, and I just wanted him to open his eyes. I’ve had dreams when he opens his eyes, but sadly it didn’t happen in reality. I think the sudden circumstances of the death makes it so traumatic and difficult to come to terms with for us. It’s like they have been taken from us when we thought we had more time together. So many times since my Dad died I’ve wanted to call him and share some news or just have a chat and now I can’t and never will be able to. Making me cry writing this. Anyway, I hope the yoga and retreat helps you.

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I understand and relate to it soo much. Buddy take care and ik it will take a lot of time to get better after such traumatic event. Reach out on my dm anytime if you want to talk. And remember your dad will always like you smiling and he was so proud of you. You are a kind person.

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I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I too am in the same situation. I lost my Dad 10 weeks ago, very suddenly and now my world feels shattered. He died from heart disease, he never knew he had it and was only 56. He was perfectly fine the night before and was his usual cheery self. Nothing was out of the ordinary. People keep telling me things will get better, and use the same cliche phrases that don’t help at all, but I’d like to think in time, we will be ok. Nothing will take our pain away, we will just learn to deal with it. I also can’t accept he’s gone, it feels like he’s gonna turn up any second. I keep getting a lot of signs he’s still about too (as crazy as that sounds). I wish I had said more, done more, absorbed every last second of the last time I saw him, but we can’t change these things. Some people say it’s a comfort knowing they went so quickly, and didn’t suffer, but it’s so hard not having that last goodbye. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. I hope you’re doing as well as you can :heart:

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@UncomfortablyNumb thank you for sharing and I am very sorry for the loss of your Dad, especially with him being so young. Although my Dad was older (78), he was so fit and healthy, always out and about, making us all laugh with his funny stories. I thought he would be around for another 10 years at least and with him dying suddenly, without being able to have one last chat, it just feels so painful. I’m so sorry that your Dad passed away so young and you must be young too, so it must be extra hard for you. Oh life is so challenging isn’t it! You are right, we will somehow learn to live with it. But it will take a long time.

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