It’s been 3 months since my Dad passed away suddenly. I just keep wanting to wind back time and see if I could do something to stop what happened from happening or thinking somehow I can make him come back. I just can’t seem to accept that he is gone and isn’t coming back to life. Just can’t get my head around it. How can someone be so full of life one day and be gone the next? Will I ever accept what has happened? The sudden nature of his death has caused me to feel very anxious and have chest pains and other symptoms. It’s so hard. I just want my Dad back and miss him so much.
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I absolutely feel the same way. My grandparents deteriorated before they passed away. My grandma lost her ability to communicate (Alzheimer’s) and slipped into a coma with pneumonia. My grandad became more and more frail, and whispered to me that he was ready to go.
My dad? My dad was as sprightly as he always had been. Lord, it was sawing wood in the back garden that caused his heart attack. I think the only thing that my dad no longer did, which he had done in younger years, was go up the ladder and onto the roof, and that’s only because my mum insisted that he didn’t.
So, like you, I can’t get my head around him being here, sprightly, full of life, and then, gone.
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It’s just mind-blowing really. I want to say goodbye properly. It’s so hard. Sorry for your loss.
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This is something I am struggling with when my mom passed away 7 months back, she was laughing, serving us food and gone within 2 mins, so many questions whose answer I am not gonna get, every morning I experience chest pain, severe acidity, headache and nightmares. No therapy or counselling is helping. I try to take one day at a time but being just 26 I am lost in my life now, don’t know why it happened so suddenly, we had our birthdays together and now that day has become the most awful. I have joined yoga and meditation classes and it helps, but breakdowns happen someday. I am going for silent meditation next week for 10 day course
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I’m so sorry for your loss of your mum and at such a young age. I wasn’t there when my Dad collapsed from a cardiac arrest, but was there by his side when he took his last breath. He was deeply unconscious, and I just wanted him to open his eyes. I’ve had dreams when he opens his eyes, but sadly it didn’t happen in reality. I think the sudden circumstances of the death makes it so traumatic and difficult to come to terms with for us. It’s like they have been taken from us when we thought we had more time together. So many times since my Dad died I’ve wanted to call him and share some news or just have a chat and now I can’t and never will be able to. Making me cry writing this. Anyway, I hope the yoga and retreat helps you.
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I understand and relate to it soo much. Buddy take care and ik it will take a lot of time to get better after such traumatic event. Reach out on my dm anytime if you want to talk. And remember your dad will always like you smiling and he was so proud of you. You are a kind person.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad. I too am in the same situation. I lost my Dad 10 weeks ago, very suddenly and now my world feels shattered. He died from heart disease, he never knew he had it and was only 56. He was perfectly fine the night before and was his usual cheery self. Nothing was out of the ordinary. People keep telling me things will get better, and use the same cliche phrases that don’t help at all, but I’d like to think in time, we will be ok. Nothing will take our pain away, we will just learn to deal with it. I also can’t accept he’s gone, it feels like he’s gonna turn up any second. I keep getting a lot of signs he’s still about too (as crazy as that sounds). I wish I had said more, done more, absorbed every last second of the last time I saw him, but we can’t change these things. Some people say it’s a comfort knowing they went so quickly, and didn’t suffer, but it’s so hard not having that last goodbye. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. I hope you’re doing as well as you can 
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@UncomfortablyNumb thank you for sharing and I am very sorry for the loss of your Dad, especially with him being so young. Although my Dad was older (78), he was so fit and healthy, always out and about, making us all laugh with his funny stories. I thought he would be around for another 10 years at least and with him dying suddenly, without being able to have one last chat, it just feels so painful. I’m so sorry that your Dad passed away so young and you must be young too, so it must be extra hard for you. Oh life is so challenging isn’t it! You are right, we will somehow learn to live with it. But it will take a long time.
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I’m so sorry for your loss, and am in the same situation. My father was a healthy 78 year old, who died suddenly a few weeks ago. On the morning of his death, I nearly came to visit my parents, but decided that I would pop over in the afternoon. I then received the call that I will never forget. I arrived at their house to find the paramedics giving him CPR, but sadly it was too late, and they couldn’t save him. I keep wondering if I could have saved him, if I had visited in the morning - I would have been there and could have done CPR as soon as he collapsed (he had a sudden cardiac arrest). I didn’t get to say goodbye, and my heart is broken. I miss him so much and just want him back.
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@apollo I’m so sorry for your loss, and with it being so recent, I know only too well just how painful it is in those first weeks. My dad also died of sudden cardiac arrest at the age of 78, in February. Since that awful day, life has been a bit of a blur. Lots of ups and downs, physical and emotional pain, deep shock which led to panic and anxiety like I’ve never felt before. I literally feel like I have a broken heart. Then last month it all just hit me again that I am never seeing him again, and I felt so low again, like I did at the beginning. It was his birthday and father’s day in June, which made it extra hard. Recently, I can get through days without breaking down every day, but the grief builds up and then I just have to release the pain by crying, which does help. All I can say to you is to take each day as it comes. Take as much time as you need to process what has happened. Sending you lots of love and strength. X
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