My mum had been vomiting for 24 hours when I went to visit her on Thursday morning (29/09/22) I took one look at her and said get your shoes on we’re going to A&E. She looked dreadful grey and mottled. She went upstairs to get her medications. She collapsed in the bathroom I tried to move her and seriously injured my back, so trying to do cpr in a tiny bathroom with severe back pain was futile. Ambulance took forever to arrive, 999 call handler telling me to keep going when I was distraught struggling and in pain, blood was coming out of mums mouth and I knew she was gone. Why didn’t I call ambulance sooner, I’m really struggling. It’s now 3 days later and I’m just grief stricken still in serious pain, and I just want my mum
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Hi MarieM,
I’m sorry to hear about the very recent loss of your mum and I want to reassure you that calling an ambulance earlier wouldn’t have saved your mum
My dad died of a heart attack at home 24 years ago. The ambulance arrived in minutes but he couldn’t be saved. My mum was actually in hospital talking to a surgeon when she had a sudden bleed on the brain. Top medical people were at her side immediately and nothing could be done.
I also work in the emergency services and the chances of CPR working outside of a hospital environment are less than 10%.
At the moment you are in shock and the grief, guilt and ‘what ifs’ will haunt you for long time. Eventually you will accept that it was your mum’s time to go. I have finally accepted this about my mum although it’s still not easy, 3 years down the line.
Do you know what happened to your mum? Is a PM being done?
Both my parents had PMs because they died suddenly and unexpectedly and both gave answers as to how ill they were even though neither knew it before they died.
Look after yourself, take the time you need to grieve and take things one hour at a time until you are ready to take things a day at a time.
Cheryl x
Thankyou. I keep going over the scenario in my mind if I had acted sooner, how long had she laid there dying before I realised she’s taking a while upstairs. Did she feel anything, did she know she was dying, and I was downstairs not knowing. Why did I let her go upstairs. I know only time will ease these thoughts.
There will be a pm.
I’m trying to take 1 day at a time. Trying to sort my back pain out which is making my grief so much harder to bear. Trying to keep strong.
Hi Marie,
I feel your pain right now.
My beautiful mum passed away on the same day (29/09/22) under very similar circumstances.
I was on my way round to her as she was feeling unwell, I even called the ambulance while on the way but they never responded straight away.
I never got there in time and she had already passed out, my poor dad was with her and we were both helpless until the emergency services arrived.
After 1.5 hours of trying to save her, we had to say goodbye.
My heart is shattered, I’m totally devastated as she was not only my mum she was also my best friend and my soulmate.
I don’t know how I will live without her nor do I want to but I know I have to.
The what if’s are painful, as like you I think what if I got there earlier or called the ambulance earlier but I know nothing can change what has happened.
The pain is unbearable right now and I can’t see a way through but I know my beautiful mum wouldn’t want to see me suffering as I would imagine your lovely mum wouldn’t either.
You are not alone in your suffering stay strong x