I want to know WHY

My dearest husband Jim died in August after going into hospital for a routine operation. All was well for 2 days after op then I was called and told he had got sepsis and was in ICU on a ventilator he then got pneumonia followed by kidney failure and heart failure he was also moved in his state to a different hospital because they needed the bed I wasn’t allowed to visit . So all I could do was ring everyday to be told he was no better then I got the call everyone dreads to go in they need to speak to me. I knew what was coming they wanted to switch machines off I couldn’t do it so they made the decision I could only stand in tears and watch my darling husband take his last breath . I feel the hospital let him down and I need to get answers but so far they haven’t answered my questions so I’m thinking of getting a solicitor on to it I want to know why this happened and are they to blame


I understand your pain, and the desire for knowledge, but would it bring him back, it’s all still very raw, many years ago my mum passed away on the operating table, an inquest recorded death by miss adventure, I don’t even know what thar means. Shell my partner died at home , last year, I performed CPR , but failed, they took her away, didn’t see her final moments, I wasn’t satisfied with the death certificate, but it wasn’t worth questioning it, my father in law passed away at home last Christmas day, again cause of death was questionable, sometimes, it is all wrong. I wish you some kind of peace, my deepest condolences.

Similar to my story unfortunately. I was so full of doubt afterwards, why did I agree to them switching off the machine, why didn’t I say give him 24 hours more? Why did I accept what they said, why didn’t I challenge them?
A few months later I requested my husbands medical records but got no comfort from reading them. I only got upset and angry at a stupid nurse who noted “IV pulled out - deliberately?”
He pulled it out whilst having one of many terrible seizures, frightening for him & distressing to witness. Why would she write ‘deliberately?’.
So it may help you understand but may not, to ask for his records as next of kin.

So sorry to hear that you are going through this my husband was also let down in icu I thought it was supposed to be a safe place we have to wait till next year for the coroners court case it is awful sending hugs

Dear Misprint

I realise you must feel alone in your grief in dealing with your loss. I can honestly say, I really do understand and you are not alone. There are often more questions than answers, and sometimes, it is hard to accept the answers we are given.

May I suggest you start by writing a detailed complaint directly to the hospital? Complaints do take time to be fully dealt with, but you might find that by starting with this, you get some sense of dealing with the situation.

Others are here to help you through at least a little.