Today i am really struggling to do the most mundane tasks, David really was an amazing man, and he did so much for me, and possibly far to much instead of letting me sort things out myself he would sort anything that was troubling me, and certainly it made my life easier, but it came with a price because i find myself floundering in a sea of uncertainty, even knowing how to inflate the car tyres correctly i find an impossible task, and you might think its easy but with new cars alarms goes off when things are out of cinc and i just cannot do it correctly, I either over inflate or under inflate.
I am so tired of everything, and running a business in the mix is no easy task. I have come so far, but not sure I want to go much further as my stomach is so churned up, and i’m scared, scared of the now and of the future.
I could just about have written this myself.My husband was like yours, he took care of just about everything to do with cars or the house. It’s only now that I realise just how much he did. He died very suddenly and unexpectedly in the garden 9 weeks ago. I found him already gone and the image of his face haunts me. I don’t know whether he would have shouted for me or not.I was in the house at the time.He was the love of my life for 42 years.Now I feel hopeless, helpless, scared and utterly heartbroken.
I could have written that, even down to the name David. I feel exactly the same, he was so good to me, so I’m totally lost. I ran everything past David, so I’m finding even the smallest decisions almost impossible.
Hello Mist2, gosh, i am so sorry for you and the pain is so recent that i understand how you must feel, and that image will stay with you forever. And like you i feel completely helpless and alone, my thoughts are with you at this traumatic time.
hello Ali66, and in the process of grief we lose part of ourselves, its so heartbreaking and no one understands fully unless they have been through the same.
Thinking of you.
Thank you Rhody. I am just very thankful to have discovered this support online. There aren’t any local support groups where I live, and this has been the most helpful thing I have found. It’s so nice to be able to share things with the only people who can truly understand all the fears and emotions we experience.
My husband Mark was the same. I lost him 5 months ago. It is gettting easier in the fact i can talk about him without sobbing uncontrollably. I miss him so much.
I’m the same as you @Mist2 went home and found my husband had gone. My son rang me to say that dad had collapsed and time I got home he was gone. I did CPR until the paramedics arrived. He was 53 years old and we had just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. So sorry that this has happened to you. Life is so unfair and cruel. Take care and big hugs xx
Thank you Hazel.1966
Dealing with the shock is bad enough isn’t it, and then you find yourself dealing with paperwork and decisions without the one person who could always sort things out.I just don’t trust myself to get anything right at the minute.
@Mist2 I’m 11 months into this journey and have to say that my memory isn’t as good as it used to be so have to write everything down. A few months ago I was diagnosed with PTSD. I find the best therapy is talking about my husband sudden passing even if it means I say it a hundred times. I’m lucky that my friends are so understanding.
In time you will be up to sorting out things but I found being motivated was hard but gradually getting there. Big hugs xx
@Hazel.1966. Please don’t answer this question if it’s too personal. Is your PTSD related to your husband’s passing? I was with my husband when he passed, and I find that memory so traumatic.
@Ali66 yes my son rang me to say that his dad my husband had collapsed, time I got home he was gone. I did CPR on him. Also the shock that he died of a massive rear saddle pulmonary and undiagnosed kidney cancer which was in both kidneys. Xx
That’s such a lot to try to come to terms with Hazel.1966. I tried CPR too, and the paramedics arrived very quickly and tried but we all knew he was gone. It’s very hard isn’t it to not have been there at the end.
@Mist2 yes it was hard not to be there to comfort my husband when he collapsed as he was sitting up on the floor for 30 minutes. I was at work then went and did the Christmas shopping and missed my son phone call by 30 minutes. Feel so guilty that I’m wasn’t there for my husband and son. Yes sudden death is hard as you didn’t get the chance to say that you loved them and what they meant to you. I often nagged my poor husband and moaned at times. Xx
Me too. Thankfully that morning we had said I love you to each other.I just wish I could have had a few moments with him before he passed. And like you I feel terrible guilt, wondering if I’d gone out a few minutes earlier it might have made a difference….The paramedics said it would have been instant but I’ll always wonder.
We all have a long, hard road in front of us. I hope you all manage to have a decent sleep tonight. Xx
Hi all,
My partner died suddenly of a cardiac arrest.
I was first alerted when he started to snore really loudly. I went to wake him and I couldn’t….he took one last breath in and I started CPR straight away whilst screaming for help.
I’ll never, ever forget those last moments.
I’m waiting for treatment for PTSD…I wonder if you have ever therapy?
Aly
Hi AlysonandSteve
Through my work I can be referred to various services, but everything seems to be online or on the phone. I would far rather speak to someone in person or go to a support group but there is nothing local and Cruse appears to have a waiting list. I find this chat line really helpful and I’m glad I found it.
