My father died in '99. l went through my grief with hubby and work to distract me. My mum seemed to be okay, with family & friends around, especially my brother, who was the image of my dad.
But having lost my husband, l now know what my mum must have been going through but l didn’t know. lm ashamed l didn’t do more for her.
Mum died in '09. My sister says that it seemed mum had lost the will and pined for my dad.
Why does love come with such pain?
Hi @Lotswife,
Thank you for sharing this. I don’t have the answers, but I’m giving this a gentle bump for you and want to let you know that you’ve been heard. 
Hello Lotswife
I feel exactly the same as I was little help to both my Nan and my mother when they lost their partners. My mother was in her forties and did remarry a few years later but I now feel ashamed that I didn’t do more to help.
xx
We can only understand and help anyone when we ourselves have walked in those shoes and had the same experiences. This is why people join bereavement sites be because each knows what the other has/is experiencing.
Love hurts simply due to “attachment” love itself should never hurt
Hi @Lotswife
You ask the question “Why does love come with such pain?” Someone once said to me after I asked a similar question when my wife passed, his answer…“Love deep, hurt deep”.
I certainly loved my wife deeply (and still do!)…and I’m hurting deeply!!..
I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling such agony as well.
I’m sending you much love and peace.
Don’t know @Lotswife but it does and with the most severe pain I’ve ever experienced and I thought losing my dad 6 years ago was horrendous, but Bry was my rock through that, just loving caring & supportive as he always was 
Life is just do unfair 
xxx