If love could have saved my son

Losing a child
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If love could have saved you.

You would still be here, I wouldn’t be here crying every day because I miss you .
If love could have saved you , you’d be by my side , or on the phone chatting endlessly.
If love could have saved you , I could hold you in my arms and feel your warmth.
If love could have saved you I wouldn’t be missing seeing your beautiful smile.
If love could have saved you ,I would not feel depths of despair.
If love could have saved you ,you would never knowingly have left me .
If love could have saved you ,the universe would have listened to my plea to keep you safe.
If love could have saved you ! you would have known how much I loved you and how much it would break my heart and soul for you to leave.
If love could have saved you , I would not experience this deep ache inside my heart , which is like none I have ever known, but this I do know , my love is still, infinite, and will remain eternal. Stay Forever young my beautiful soul :dizzy::star2::pray:t4:.

Mental health Is a thief , it is deceitful, it lies, confuses and entraps your every sense of being ,it affects perceptions , thoughts and emotions to the very core. It stigmatizes and isolates you beyond realms of comprehension.
The loss of my son has changed my whole being as the person I once was, how can I ever be the same, My son suffered with mental health most of his adolescent life, he passed away 1 month after turning 21 years of age.
I know deep in my soul that he could not stay here on this platform, even though he knew how much I didn’t want him to leave, he knew in his soul he was leaving soon, , he struggled, he tried so hard to stay to the end. I know if my love could have saved him he would still be here. But sadly I know that in all the turmoil of his mental health, he felt there where no reasons to stay other than the shards of emotional pain that convinces someone they do not want to be here , and alas they feel they must leave us.
The depths of emotions are indescribable, the pain, the fear, the confusion, the anger, the questioning why !! . My soul screams , but only I can hear the pain, I recover briefly, gather my thoughts, only to surge into the darkness once again, oh my lord please help me to navigate my way through this excruciating pain of losing a child .
Sadly knowing in my heart , my beautiful gentle son was struggling to stay mentally well ,was heartbreaking to watch. I have never felt such hopelessness and out of control in regard to helping him, I could not take away his emotional pain , and as a mother it was too hard to bear.
I long to see him again and will do one day , I look forward to wrapping my arms around him in the afterlife , where we will make up for all the things we never got to share here on earth.

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Dear August2020,
What can I say? Your grief is so deep, and your love for your son so strong. You have described your feelings for him so beautifully. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in your situation. I just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you and that you are in my thoughts. I am sure that you have done all that you could to help him, and in between his moments of darkness there must have been times when he knew and felt that love. I hope that even in your darkest moments of pain and sadness you will be able to hold on to the hope you have that one day you will see him again. Sending you a big hug and lots of love,
Jo64

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Dear August 2020
My heart breaks for you and all of us whose children suffered so with their mental health. Your words are so honest and reflect how I feel and always will. My son escaped his mental health by using recreational drugs along with his prescribed medication. He got confused at times with what he had taken and when. My only consolation is to know his struggles are over. I love him and miss him every single day. Warmest hugs and love to you.
Purple

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Mine does too x x x

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Thank you for your compassion xx

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Thank you xx

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I’m so sorry for your loss and understand.
My son passed away on thursday aged 20. He also suffered from mental health issues steming from being bullied at school which I was not aware of it at the time. He was a loving, caring, good hearted boy but was crippled with mental issues. Made alot of wrong decisions despite all the support he got. He turned to recreation drugs to numb his pain. I dont think any parent can get over this. We cant even have proper funeral with all this virus stuff. If love could have saved him he would be here. I cant face people. At night when I’m alone, grief really hits. Hard to show around other people for some reason. X

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Dear August…You have put into words exactly how a Mother feels to lose her child…It’s over two years now since I lost my Son and it still feels the as the day he left us…
Stay strong xxx

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Hi I’m so so sorry for your loss , such a similar scenario to my son , who died in January this year ,I am still in acute stages of grief . , But I feel for you not being able to have the freedom to bury your child without all this chaos of carona Virus , my son also took recreation drugs to numb the pain , I hear so many similar stories , our poor children are suffering mental health and we as parents are helpless , mental health is so unpredictable , I hope and pray you find some peace during this crazy time , as you must be overwhelmed as it is , keep strong is all I can advice , as everyday is different , different emotions I have never experienced , which drag you to the darkest deepest Pits of despair , but then you have to remember your son would not want you to feel like this and he would want you to be happy , stay strong x

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I can imagine it never gets any easier , I can’t wait to be re United with my son , I have no fear of dying now . I am existing at the moment and will never be the same, but life goes on for the sake of my younger daughter . I feel so lost and bewildered , still feels surreal , thank you for your compassion , take care my friend xx

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Alison1

I’m so desperately sorry for your loss. I lost my younger son Henry in October- he was 30 years and 15 days old. :cry::broken_heart:. He had just registered with Turning Point for support for his addiction. He only admitted what we had known so long on his 30th birthday…I feel he slipped through my fingers. My lovely boy.

I can’t offer much to you other than to say for me the pain is exactly the same as the day Henry died, but I’m able to have times each day that I don’t feel it…I am coping with it. My life will never recover all it’s joy but I am still here, for my husband, Henry’s brother, my grandchildren and my family but most of all I’m here for Henry. I feel his love around me.

Take each hour at a time, rest if you can as sleep can be elusive. You’re in my prayers.

Love and hugs
Purple

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I’m so so sorry you are suffering this awful loss of your beloved son. It’s so hard and so cruel. Both my sons died aged 33 and 36 seven years ago and two years ago then my husband died almost a year ago. I don’t know how we go on really … but, like you, I know we will see them again one day. For now we have to keep them tucked safely in our hearts. You can only take one day one hour at a time … I’m thinking of you and se di g love from me to you, Sue xx

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Thank you so much xx

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Thank you For your kind words x

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You are so right , we will have beautiful moments again with those we lose , when we reach heaven :dizzy: gone far too soon , it’s heartbreaking , still feel numb , this whole year is a non starter, losing my beautiful son in January and the this covid 19 taking over my being able to grieve properly , I keep my memories alive in my head and think of him every minute of every day and will do until I draw my last breath , take care my lovely compassionate friend xx

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Dear Sue
I’m so moved by your post. To have lost two sons and your husband …I don’t know how you are able to survive this. I’m so desperately sorry- those words are totally inadequate I know. I hope you have other family members and friends to love you.

I am sending peaceful wishes and love to you.
Purple x

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Hi and thank you for responding … it’s kind of you. I have just lurches along the best I can. I have a couple who have been such good friends to me so that has helped so much… they promised my husband they would make sure I was ok and they certainly have. All he was worried about was leaving g me alone after all we had been through. I gave a best friend who lives down in Margate … I’m in Lincoln. Her a d her husband came to stay for a few days just before Christmas and helped me out a tree up etc. That lovely friend has messaged me and phoned me every single day since my husband died … she has been amazing. I have three grandchildren who are 18, 16 and 12 and they keep in touch … can’t come over for now because of the virus. It’s been hard being totally alone … I thought I was a bit of a hermit but I guess I’m not really! I had such love from all three of them for the years I had them … we were married 43 1/2 years so was lucky … my mum and dad are 90 and I always wish we had had that long. All that love keeps me going I think … until we are all together again. I hope you are doing ok and keeping safe and well. Love from me to you :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

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Bless you :heart: Henry’s son - who is 10 years old, is an inspiration to me. I know how important grandchildren are and how hard it is for everyone at the moment, not seeing each other. I’m so glad you have them and friends too.
Yes, I believe we will all be together again. Henry’s Dad died in 2013, then my nephew committed suicide in January and his mother, my sister in law died from Covid19 last month. She was fighting cancer.
It seems we’ve had enough death for the time being my friend. You take care and cherish every good day.

Love and hugs
Purple

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Thankyou Purple … yes I think we have had enough sadness. I hope things get better for you and yours when this is all over. Stay safe abd well … love from me, Sue :cherry_blossom::bouquet::cherry_blossom::bouquet::cherry_blossom::bouquet::cherry_blossom: