It totally breaks my heart that we never had a chance to say goodbye! My wonderful husband died on the 18th January 2023, aged 51 after sustaining a head injury at work. I still don’t think I’ve got over the shock of being told this news at my work about 11.30am that day! It definitely feels like my life before and life after. I remember that day in minute detail and I don’t think that’ll ever leave me. My husband and I had 12 wonderful years together, and a 10 year old son together. We’d stayed together for 11 years but decided to get married in September last year. I suppose to make us complete! We got 4 months and a day as a married couple before this cruel accident took him from us. We never even got to paper! I can’t get over it . We had such a great 2022! It feels like someone said “you’ve had it too good in 2022, have a torturous 2023! I can’t believe he’s gone . Broken hearted for us, but even more so for our son! Trying to get some counselling, hopefully soon . Reading some stories on here, so unbelievably sad . Love to all xx
It is a right shitty cruel world at times, you see and hear so many couples arguing splitting up and just wrong for each other and the couples in love seem to be punished and split apart. I’m sorry you lost your hubby, you should have had many more decades of love together. Like you I never got to say goodbye and I guess that’s something we can’t ever fix.
I wish you all the strength in the world to find some kind of peace and to someday be able to move on… It’s a shitty journey to be on, some it’s a short one and they find love again some lasts for the rest of their lives… You take good care of yourself.
Thank you LostinLimbo! Great name, that’s defo the way I feel at the minute! No answers, just questions. I hope you’re ok? That’s what I’m trying to tell my son. Some couples stab each other in the back, we weren’t like that and always wanted the best for us all. One day at a time xx
That’s all anyone can do, take one day at a time… No rush whatsoever. You’re still very much at the beginning of you grief so definitely don’t expect too much of yourself right now, take plenty of time to grief with your son.
But yes you’re right it is a hard thing to take having questions without answers. When your in love you fantasise about growing old together and dying at an old age in each others arms. You’re in good hands on this site, certainly many lovely kind people in the same shoes all struggling at different stages. You take good care x
Firstly I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this grief. It is the worst feeling imaginable- in fact way worse than my imagination could have come up with.
I also didn’t get time to say goodbye to my darling 60 year old, fit, strong and seemingly healthy husband. He went out to play his weekly football last April, suffered a coronary embolus and never came home. A police officer came to the door to tell me he had died on the way to hospital.
Almost 11 months later I have such variable days and emotions can change rapidly. On the whole I am in a much better place and use my determination to make him proud as my motivation to do things. I also have a daughter with a learning disability who needs a lot of support so I have a busy life one way and another.
In the early stages the disbelief was huge and the shock immense. I think many people find that once the reality sets in the grief can seem totally overwhelming. Your son will be your saviour I think as the strong desire to help our children, however old they are, makes us capable of more than we imagine.
You do need to listen to your body and mind though and do whatever feels right to you. There is no planned route on this journey and we all deal with things differently. ‘Whatever you feel is what you should be feeling’ was once said to me which helped a lot. There is no right or wrong.
I hope we can help you in some way here. As @Lostinlimbo says, there are many people here who will help and support you.
Live to you and your son.
Thank you for replying Karen!
I’m so sorry you also had that awful visit from the police, I think that will stay with me forever
It’s that moment of realisation that life will never be the same again!
We were later parents, at 40 and 41. And I didn’t meet my husband until 38 so in some ways I think this is a good thing. I’m used to being on my own and we both let each other be ourselves. But then I think it took me so long to find him and I thought, great, I’m supported and life is good. Then to be snatched away. Bloody awful. I just miss him . And the anger, I think I need to start boxing xx
Love the idea of you boxing. Maybe the cushions could take a bashing.
I also lived on my own for ten years before Richard and I married so that does help. It doesn’t stop me missing HIM but stops me missing a person being here, if that makes sense. I don’t mind being alone but I do mind being without Richard.