If there is anything I can do???

Lost my Mum on 05/02/2020.
Why do people say this? I hate hearing this?
There’s nothing you can do, nothing at all unless you want to come and help me clean out my Mums garage or come and help me rewire her house.
You did ask if there’s anything you can do, I’m so sick of hearing this.

Hi Clarey,
Sadly people just don’t know what to say to you. They want to help but have no idea how they can.
They don’t realise that nothing helps.
My neighbour, whose wife had died , said to me
" this is the worst time of your life " that simple acknowledgement of the truth helped me.
When I told the counsellor this he said " that wasn’t very helpful" but it was to me.

1 Like


This is why people on the Mediterranean deal with death do much better than Brits.
My best friend is Sicilian and she said they dont ask what they can do to help when someone dies. They just turn up with food and start helping.
She says when people ask ’ what can I do to help?’ They are putting the onus on a grieving person to add thinking if jobs for friends to do on top on everything else. This has really stuck with me and when a friends loved one dies I’m not asking that question.

1 Like