I'm 22 and I've lost my dad.

I’m currently away from home studying my masters degree. 4 months ago I got a phone call to say my dad had past away. for a couple of months I denied it but now every day I’m struggling more. My uni work is being effected and I just don’t know how to cope.

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So sorry you have lost your Dad so young,I was 29 when my Dad passed many years ago,my husband passed away 10 months ago and i have 3 daughters ,the youngest is 23,she found it very hard and I told my 3 daughters their Dad would want them to go out there and be the best they can,im sure your Dad would want that for you,its only been 4 months for you and sometimes we try to push it to the back of our minds,we dont want to believe it or ever accept it.Its understandable that it would affect your work and life at uni,do you have any support from your uni,and have you talked to them about how you feel.We as a family have talked about every feeling through this and every emotion it can throw at you,talking gets those feelings out there,best not to bottle feelings up,10 months on and my girls still feel the pain but they laugh and smile again,some days are easier than others.Please talk to your loved ones,family,friends,grief is best not denied but faced and you will come through,Thinking of you x

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Hello Becca96,

Welcome to this community. I’m so very sorry to hear that your dad passed away recently. This must be very difficult for you to cope with, particularly with the added pressure of uni. Have you explored what student services are available at your uni? Most universities offer support for students who have been bereaved, so it’s definitely worth having a look on the intranet, if your uni has one, or speaking to a lecturer or tutor that you’re comfortable with.

Another community member posted over the weekend who’s also at university and coping with the loss of a parent. If you wanted to have a look at that, her post is here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-parent/what-do-i-do-know-18-and-0-direction

Take care of yourself and let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.

With best wishes,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your dad. I’ve just turned 28 and I lost my dad 8 weeks ago, it’s the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to deal with. The added stress of uni won’t be easy for you, I am 36 weeks pregnant just now with my first baby and feel it’s all too much to cope with sometimes. The only advice I can give you is just to talk to everyone you can, tomorrow up your feelings let your friends and family know how you feel.
Also try to speak to student services at uni, could they offer councilling? And make sure your lecturers know in case your work is effected or you need extensions on course work etc.
When I was at uni, my best friend in my class lost her mum, it was so hard for her to get through the 18 months of uni we had left but she done it with the correct support…you can too.
So sorry for what your going through x

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Thankyou for your lovely response. Unfortunately my university it quite new, therefore doesn’t have a councillor service! So I’m pretty much just trying to keep one foot infront the other right now.

It really is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Your baby will be so inlove with you and will make all the upset worth while. I try to speak to people but they just can’t cope with it, I guess they feel awkward because they’re not sure how to deal with me being so open about his death. Unfortunately my university is quite new, therefore doesn’t have a councillor service! So I’m pretty much just trying to keep one foot infront the other right now. I’ve been wondering whether to go to the drs but the waiting lists for any one to even see me puts me off. I wish you all the best and Thankyou for your response xxx

Aww I can be hard to talk to people and sometimes I also feel like people don’t know what to say, alot of friends etc probably can’t relate, most people haven’t experienced such lose in their 20s.
You should definitely go to your GP, i think they offer councilling on this site too if that would be an option for you?
Do you have a close relationship to your mum? Or have any siblings that can relate?
Feel free to pm me if you ever wanna talk xx