12 weeks since my beautiful mum gained her angel wings.
I’ve suffered a great deal of different emotions along the way.
At one point I thought I had got over the worst of it and I believed I’d be happy again eventually.
But for some reason this week I have seemed to slip right back into the denial stage of the grief cycle.
Today has been something else, I have not been able to stop crying, I just feel so sad and lost and miss her so much!
I’m meant to be going back to work on Tuesday but I don’t feel mentally prepared to start going back to normal and I’m getting anxiety thinking about it.
At the beginning my heart hurt so much and it’s started hurting again this is unbearable!
I’ve even been having counselling which is coming to an end shortly, and I feel that hasn’t even helped. Am I just a lost cause?
I can’t make any sense of life anymore and I feel scared about the future as I know this won’t be the last time I’ll go through this heartbreak.
I just don’t know what to do anymore, I just want the impossible and to have her back where she belongs
Hi, sorry for your pain after the loss of your Mum. Grief is a roller coaster of emotions and I think it’s very normal to have these conflicting emotions from day to day. I know that it has certainly been a very difficult time since the loss of my Mum back in January. Obviously there’s nothing anyone can say to ease your pain but in time you will gradually adapt to your changed situation. For now it’s a case of getting through the days, trying to find something positive to focus on, however small. That’s what I am trying to do, often gritting my teeth with effort, just because I know my Mum would want me to keep going… Take care, have hope in your heart…xx
I am doing my best to keep going because it is what my Mum would have wanted but the void she has left me with is just so hard to bare.
It doesn’t help that I keep swinging from believing she’s watching over me to disbelieving but I’ve had so many amazing things happen that make me believe she’s there every step of the way.
Thank you for your reply and sorry you find yourself in the same situation as me, we probably didn’t realise how lucky we was to have a Mum who loved us so much.
As they say that you feel more pain because you realised how much they loved you, nothing will ever replace that x
this is unbearable!