I have posted on here twice in the early days after loosing my wife and I helped a lot
I thought I was doing ok in the last 10 months I’ve been there For our 3 children and grandchild kept the house running and built a new career but lately I seem to be overwhelmed by it all and the pain of missing her is becoming to much to live with it seems worse now than it was at the start
I don’t want to worry my family or friends but the reasons for carrying on are becoming more and more difficult to think off
Again sorry for this type of post I’m just struggling and no longer recognize the myself any more
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You seem to have had so much to do in the last 10 months. I wonder if you haven’t had time to grieve properly for your wife.
I understand the physical pain you’ll have with missing her.
It’s so very hard without them.
I hope you have someone you can talk to.
I know I have previously spoken to the Samaritans on 116 123. They are there 24/7. It sometimes helps to speak to someone who doesn’t know you and won’t judge you at all. I understand that you don’t want to worry your family.
Please take care and know that how you’re feeling is normal, although it feels like it’s insurmountable, there are people who truly want to help you.
Janey xx
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Maybe you are trying too hard . The time of 10 months is so very short . Sounds like you are still working age too so a lot to think about . Sometimes we get so focused on ‘doing things’ that we don’t just ‘stand and stare’. We DO need to grieve and in our own way so you need to allow yourself to do that .
Look at photos , share memories, listen to music , visit places you loved and went to together . All these bring tears BUT they bring comfort too .
Take time and remember your wife loved you and you STILL love her and that love never dies as long as YOU live .
Take care 
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Hi jamiellie74 I lost my son 12 moths ago and like you it now feels worse than ever . We hope it will get better and when it does not it seems unbearable. I think it is something that we have to go through and hopefully then will come out the other side. Know that you are not alone having these feelings , To me it seems that we are just fighting our way through this journey of grief with all it’s trauma and pain. I too feel like I am done and just can’t do this anymore. I have some comfort tho in that others on here have been through the same journey and have found some solace as time has gone by. I hope we do to in time.
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Dear Jamieellie74
I wanted to acknowledge the pain you are experiencing on behalf of Sue Ryder volunteers. Having read the messages of support from others to you, I feel reassured that you had the courage to reach out while feeling so desperate.
The Samaritans as suggested is another source of help, we too have our own counselling service which you could try. I don’t know if you use text but there is a texting service called Shout txt 85258 - for anyone who is struggling to cope.
Being busy is much easier than being still, but as your friends on here say, sometimes you have to do both before you start to feel you can cope.
sending all the best to you,
Miche24
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