I lost my parents within 14 months of each other. Within three days of my Father passing, I found out that my Mother was terminally ill and I nursed her till she passed.
It’s been 11 years now since this happened. There is not a day that goes by without me asking myself “where do I belong”. I have no family or close friends. I am married but the marriage isn’t a happy one. I feel as if I’m just waiting for God myself now. I’m feeling very lost and very unwanted in this big world.
Does this feeling ever go away, or will I feel like this until i die?
In terms of your loss 11 years is irrelevant, you lost the 2 most important people to you for unconditional love & acceptance.
To lose your mum cruelly at a time when you were both grieving your dad is devastating. Society tells us we should think & feel in various ways & stages but the loss is still there.
It sounds lonely & isolating for you if your marriage isnt as happy as you might like it to be so its understandable you feel like this.
I lost both my parents (15years apart) mum almost 5 weeks ago. No family as such, only relatives that i have no contact with. An unsupportive one way relationship so its very lonely. A small circle of friends helps me but its not the same as feeling that i “belong” somewhere.
I hope someone else on here can offer more support & wisdom to help you feel better. I just wanted to let you know that whilst we arent living the same experience, in some way i can see why you feel like you do. This site really helps me feel less isolated because there are so many people with shared experiences & feelings that a lot of people simply dont realise because they arent living with the loss & isolation however long that might be for you, me, anyone else. I hope this site will help you feel less alone X
Thank you so much for your reply. It means a lot that you have taken the time to do so. I never really grieved for my Dad. I had to be strong for my Mum. I did all my crying away from her so that she did not see it. The family didn’t bother. One of her siblings when asked why they didn’t visit her said “well as she does not come to see me I don’t come to see her” another one did not realise that terminal cancer was serious! I can’t comprehend their lack of love and care to their family member.
Within less than a year, I had lost my Dad, was about to loose my Mum and lost all the family that I had known all of my life.
I don’t have any close friends. I have people who only come to my door when they want to borrow something or want me to do anything. But, when I need help etc that is a different story. I wake up every morning with the same empty feeling inside which stays with me until I close my eyes at night. It’s been a long slog and it’s taken it’s toll on me now.
All I want to do is belongs somewhere and sadly in this world I don’t.
Sorry to read that you had lost your Mom recently. I send you a virtual hug and hope your transition from grieve to happier times arrives soon.
I am about 6 months into my grief , 11 years is a long hard slog to feel this way I am alone which is OK as I have been for a long time and now mum has gone I have no close family that I see at all. I feel that an unhappy marriage is not a good thing for you but I am sure this is not news .
please take care.