Im four wks in

I lost my partner 4 wks ago
Very suddenly …he had had stents in his heart which was suppose to give him a new lease of life …due to a medication error with the gp he was left with no heart meds for three days which resulted in blood clots in his stents resulting in a heart attack …he survived that one but died of a massive one the day after …i missed him by minutes an punish my self daily …he was the love of my life and he has left a gapping hole what no one or anything is filling .i am in constant tears when i have time on my hands …i went back to work this wk for financial reasons only …i find my self just counting the time till i can just go home .when im not at work i want to go out but i just dont have it me to do it …i dont mix with my parnters older boys i just sit in our bedroom where i find comfort knowing it was our space together …i sit an look at precious photos and talk to him
.wishong him to be here …i dont see point in me being here without him .he made my life complete we did everything together when i wasnt at work .i feel like people are thinking …god woman pull urself together but i carnt i really dont know how i can carry on without him

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Hi @vonny1,

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner. It sounds like his death was a massive shock to you. It is all so very recent and raw and how you are feeling right now is completely understandable.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. I hope you find the community to be a support to you.

If you feel like some further support would be helpful right now, here are some options you might want to try.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

Take good care - you are not alone.


So sorry,it’s very early days for you and you will not know how to cope.My partner of 38 years died very suddenly last May and looking back I was in shock for months,like you I spent hours looking at photos,it’s been a year this week and I have been back doing nothing but looking at photos of him.I also talk about him lots.People can’t be expecting you to pull yourself together so soon, I have always held it together in front of people they have no idea what turmoil is going on inside me.All you can do is take one day at a time look after yourself eat well if you can and sleep when you can it’s very difficult getting through everything.