My girlfriend that i lived with for 18, 7 weeks ago was diagnosed with stomach cancer and passed away 4 days ago, my soul went with her, did all i can, didn’t work tried to make her happy for the time she had, her family have made it so hard for me , but i didn’t bite, i miss her so much it hurts. All our money was in her bank and her family will take it, we weren’t married and no children so im not entitled to anything we didn’t have time to sort benifits, we had a blessing ceremony that was totally shunned by her family, im financially mentally physically and emotionally broke, haven’t washed eaten or slept for days, im fucked
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so sorry to hear this. sadly families can be the worst especially if they were against the relationship. i havent got the best bedside manner but there are plenty on here who have and will help you. i found out when hubby died he had money in a seperate bank account, only a couple of hundrfed but i made sure i transfered it before they closed the account, right or wrong. xxxx
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Hi @Jona so sorry to hear about the passing of your girlfriend, at only 4 days you will just be overwhelmed by everything and in so much pain. I was in a similar position 11 months or so ago when my wife died, everything just fell apart and vanished overnight. There’s not much in the way of advice I can really offer other than try to focus on yourself, make sure you eat and drink if you can, it really does help, take all offers of assistance that you you feel will help. If you have friends or family that can assist tell them what you need, often people want to help but just don’t know what to do. There’s a long shit road ahead of you, it’s going to be tough but people on here know what you are going through, especially on the Losing a Partner forum.
With regards the money you say is partly yours in your girlfriends bank account, I really don’t know anything about this and I don’t know your circumstances but it appears that there are ways to challenge this. I’ve linked below, sorry if its not appropriate for you at the moment, but its there if you need it
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I don’t care about money, in time i will recover, here’s something wrote when we talked about a will that her mom coxed her away from, its just frustrating…
You mentioned a will, to bestow your belongings. Although I know you would like me to have thing’s and make it easier for me to go forward, I beg you not to. My name doesn’t belong there. Please don’t leave money as I would be saddened that I couldn’t use it when you were here to make you happy. please don’t give trinkets, ornaments and items, I may loose them in time and it would remind me of loosing you, please don’t give me gold or jewellery for you have already given me the most precious jewle of all, your smile and look in your loveing face, not all the gold and jewels could come close. please don’t give me blankets, clothes or soft things to cuddle as the love you have given will keep my heart warm forever.
I know you worry about the me because ive lost so much money being off work and spent all i have on trying to do what i can for you, it will take a bit of time to recover but i will bounce back, so don’t let it bother you, and when you were not working or had a penny, I give freely because I love you and ask nothing in return, it makes me happy to know I did all I can to make you comfortable and happy in life. Even if I’m in the lowest of places without a roof, job or shirt on my back, I would gladly sit starving in the freezing rain, my heart being warmed thinking of your beautiful smile with the knowledge that I’m here because I did all I can when you were here for the woman I love so dearly.
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@Jona You’re love for her shines through in every word, I’m sure that would have been a massive comfort to your girlfriend, to know that she was loved so deeply, to know that you were there for her and only her. In the end it’s all we really have to offer and she will have known that. It’s good that you’ve found this site, it’s helped me enormously to find people who understand and can relate and listen to what you’re going through. Things will take time and the grief will come in waves but you can get through this, I found it really useful at first to read of the experiences of people in very similar situations to yourself, everyone on Losing a Partner knows exactly what you are going through from experience.
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When you love this much and hurt this much, there is nothing anyone can say that will stop your pain or right all the wrongs.
Life right now is the worst it can be and the pain is a pain we have all felt and still feel, although in time it’s not all consuming and raw.
I won’t pretend to understand the situation with her family but I hope you get to say your goodbyes and they show you some respect for the love you shared.
My heart goes out to you.
Keep sharing here, if you want to offload, we do understand your grief, we all have that in common here.
Best wishes
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Your all beautiful people, thank you