I'm Losing my Husband 😭

Hi everyone I’m new here today :disappointed:
I’m a 48 year old woman and I found out a few months ago that my Husband of 30 years is Terminal :sob:
He had a double lung transplant 3 years ago and has been fighting rejection ever since :cry: but now the Consultant’s say my Husband has Chronic Rejection which there is NO Medicine or Treatment for and he’s now Terminal :sob:
I’m completely Devastated :sob: I can’t see anyway forward without him, he’s ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING to me :sob:
I feel like my life is now over, we’ve been together so long I don’t know anything else :sob: I really don’t want to go on without him :sob::sob::sob::sob:

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Hi so sorry you’re here I’m also quite new to the forum. I like you am also 48 and I lost my husband almost 3 weeks ago. He had a cardiac arrest after just returning home from having a quadruple heart by pass. He sadly suffered a brain injury despite me giving him CPR. It’s been such a traumatic time as it first we didn’t know the extent of his brain injury and whether he would survive. When I was given the news that he wouldn’t I couldn’t accept it or imagine being able to live without him. I just didn’t want to contemplate a life without my soul mate. I’m still really struggling now but just taking everything one day at a time. I can’t look to far into the future it’s too painful. We have 3 children and my youngest are only 11 and 12 and they need their mum and I’m trying to help and support them as best I can. What I can say is I feel very slightly better than I was I was first told he wouldn’t survive. When he was moved to end of life care it broke me but I took the best care of him I could never wanting to be apart from him not knowing he long he had. I feel your pain it’s truly heart breaking to be given such devastating news. Just try to take things hour by hour and know that you’re not alone. Sending you strength and love :heart:xx

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THANK YOU Suzyq75 for replying to me…
I’m So So Unbelievabley SORRY that you lost your Husband just 3 weeks ago bless your heart :sob: I can only imagine what you must be going through :sob: I am absolutely Petrified for what I unfortunately have to come and go through :disappointed: I’m my Husband’s full time carer and I’m physically watching him deteriorating right in front of me, I feel 100% helpless that there’s nothing I can do but carry on caring for and looking after him the best I can :disappointed:
No one in my life understands what I’m going through because their lives are totally fine whereas I feel like I’m driving towards a massive car crash that I can’t do anything about :sob:
Thank you so very much again for your message and I’m sending you the biggest HUG’S in the world :people_hugging: xx

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I lost my partner nearly 7 weeks ago to Glioblastoma grade 4 inoperable. We went on a fantastic holiday just the 2 of us in August. When we got back a week later he went to the docs because he started to get really tired and bit unstable down his left side. We had mri lumber puncture and biopsy of his brain. Unfortunately they found this brain cancer and said it was inoperable !! They gave him 12/18 months. We were absolutely devastated my whole world fell apart. He wanted to be home with me and his grown up stepchildren. I made the living room into our bedroom. He could still talk eat and I used a wheelchair for him. On the Sunday morning he had a massive seizure and I gave him CPR and brought him back. Ambulances came worked on him then went to hospital. I thought that was it I would never talk to him again. Doctors said first 24 hours would be critical. He woke early morning and said “Any chance of a cuppa” I couldn’t believe it. He was put on high steroids and seizure medication. We managed to go home but he was now bedbound, could only use his right hand but eating and drinking fine. He had to have a hospital bed in living room and I never left his side I slept on sofa next to his bed. He then had a dvt in one of his legs so I had to give him an injection in morning and at night. I made sure he took all his medication. It was hard to see him gradually deteriorating. I am so thankful that we got to say everything we needed to. He then woke up one morning and could no longer swallow and was not awake I could no longer communicate with him. He was put on a syringe driver for his medication. His breathing wasn’t very good and he passed the next day on 2nd December 23. I will always be heartbroken without him he was my soul mate but I always think how lucky we was to find each other and all the wonderful memories I have. I try to give myself a job per day to get up and dressed but if I can’t I don’t beat myself up about it I just say tomorrow may be better. Just sending big hugs I’ve been through where you are message anytime x Debbie

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It is so so hard because you’re right, no really understands what’s it like and the pain is for most people unimaginable unless you’ve been through it yourself. I’m
So glad I cared for him as much as I could do as he passed away in a hospice but I felt I wanted to do everything I could to let him know I was there and never going to leave him. I’m certain he could hear me even though he wasn’t really responsive :cry:it is so hard to watch them deteriorate in front of your eyes I wish no one had to go through it it’s truly heart breaking. Thinking of you and just take one day at a time xxxxx

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To Debbie1966,

THANK YOU very very much for sharing all that with me I was crying my eyes out reading your message as my heart was breaking :broken_heart: for you :sob:
I honestly don’t know how I’m going to cope when I lose him it bothers me that much I wish I could change places with him because I don’t want to be left alone in what seems like such a horrible cruel world without him :sob:
Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for your message of support and I’m sending you Big HUG’S🫂 x

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Any time you need support I’m here. I found it helpful to just write my thoughts down each day it seemed to clear my head ready for the next day. You will get through it trust me my heart is broken and I will never be the same again but you learn to carry on. :heart:

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Hi Suzyq75 :people_hugging:
THANK YOU Again for taking the time to message me I appreciate it I really do.!!
My friends all say to me “we’re hear for you, you’re not alone” and I know they mean well but I can’t help but think No I am completely alone in this :disappointed: I’ve been with my Husband since I was 17 he is my whole WORLD and when he goes so does my world :sob: but none of my friends understand this :cry: I see them all going out drinking with their partners and husbands and having a great time on holiday etc etc and I feel like I’m on a completely different planet to them because my world has stopped :sob: If I was given one wish to come true I wouldn’t wish to win the lottery and have millions of pounds I would wish my Husband to be in good health again :sob: that’s all I want in the world :sob:
Again Thank You for your message and your support :people_hugging: xxxxx

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@Debbie1966
Thank you so much really means a lot…
I’m really really struggling to get my head around this :sob:
We have no children so when I lose him it will be just me in the house alone with my thoughts and that scares the hell out of me :sob: xx

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@Devastated_Wolf you are right. We are living in a strange state. A bubble and can’t do all the things we used to. Everything is out of our control.
I miss going out for meals, watching live music and holidays. I know people say “well remember the good times.” And I am grateful that we had those times but I never thought in a million years our lives would end up like this. Stay strong xx

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So sorry Devastated Wolf I went through the same as you 8 weeks ago. The last few weeks of my husbands cancer i cared for him . He was the most positive person i have ever known. He never complained he was so lucky he had no pain. He said a few times wish i could pull the plug. He had lost his.dignity he hated me showering and drying him and helping him on the toilet. In the last few days i had to help him eat and drink. He died in our bed that was his wish. When he started the morphine drip he went to sleep and passed peacefully the next morning. I just wish id had one more day it was over too quickly
We were together over fifty years. I have a supportive family.but i dont want to be here every morning when i waken i am so sad.i didnt pass away in my sleep. Enjoy the time you have left together. My husband enjoyed life till the end he was a remarkable man
Take care of yourself xx

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@Ann69

I’m so so so sorry you lost your Husband :people_hugging:
We try to enjoy the time we have left together but it’s really reeeally hard when my Husband feels so ill all the time :disappointed:

Thank you for your message it’s 100% appreciated…

I just wish i could take your pain from you :disappointed: I’ve really fell out of love with this cruel world, it hurts too much :sob:

Sending you Big Big :people_hugging: Hugs xx

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*strong text

Good morning, I’m so sorry to read your post. Iv never replied to a post before but felt compelled to.
My Husband Barry had a terminal diagnosis he was given 6-12 months in June 21 just before my daughter got married in August that year. He didn’t tell anyone but my son as he didn’t want to spoil the enjoyment of the wedding :cry: he didn’t tell me till afterwards.
He passed away at home I managed to get him home from the hospital for 10 days. He had to have a hospital bed down stairs and I slept on the sofa.
I know how tiring that was so you must be exhausted.
He passed away on the 27th January 22. So it’s coming up to two years.
I still feel devastated and if I could have a wish it would be for him to come back home healthy. We were married 39 years just missed out on our ruby. :cry:
I wish you strength for the coming weeks/months
If I can give you any advice I would say if possible try to get practical things in hand. Passwords for things are a godsend.
I also have two very good friends who have helped a lot with walks, days out, holidays, nights out etc and just being there for me. Also my family.
I found it helped me to keep busy. I liked to fill my calendar with things to do. And still do.
I try to accept all invitations. And just keep busy.
I try to look at my glass as half full not half empty.
I do miss him terribly. But it does get a bit easier. I sometimes still can’t believe he’s gone :cry:. X

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@Bazwick

I had to send you a quick THANK YOU :people_hugging:

You sound like a Lovely Lovely person and I wish you lived near me because I could Reeeeeally do with someone like you in my life unfortunately when my Husband goes I will be completely alone :sob: and me alone with my thoughts scares me to death :sob:

But Thank You for your Lovely words it is appreciated :people_hugging: xx

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My goodness that is so sad for you and your children so young at least my husband was a pensioner

Your husband’s final journey was very similar to my husband’s. Although different to begin with, the brain seizure and what followed are parallel.
It’s been 3 years 3 months since we lost him.
I try every day to ‘have good life’ as he wanted for me and our daughter.

Hi

I feel your pain. My husband had a stroke, and was diagnosed with a brain tumour. I get by with telling myself one day at a time but it’s hard and I feel like I am on a tightrope just waiting to fall off. I am quite a private person and don’t like everyone at work to know my life x

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I only joined today. My husband has less than a year. He is my life, we are each other.
I cannot comprehend the future. I honestly feel your pain.
Regards

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