Im struggling. I can put a mask on for school runs and work and around my young daughter. But deep down im lost we’re awaiting a hospital patient safety serious investigation and a inquest. I lost my partner last October. I keep having flashbacks of finding him on our bed I went to wake him to ask what he wanted from the Chinese after being discharged from hospital.
I keep rehearing my voice on the 999 call but I know im in the now. I see how the paramedics led him while awaiting private ambulance.
I have intrusive thoughts or that what ive been told they are called. Of him in the coffin burried even though he had a closed coffin. Its when little one is asleep or at school my mind takes me places I cant unsee
I’m so sorry you too have lost your husband and so young. I lost mine suddenly just over a year ago now, he just fell to the floor and was gone.
For a long time after I had flashbacks to that awful time. They would come out of nowhere or be triggered by a sound or sight. I attended a bereavement group that had a councellor. She told me to imagine a blind and pull it down over the image. Have a nice image ready to replace it. If you do this it trains the brain not to go to the awful images.
It helped me to read about why our brains do this to us in our grief. I also used chatgpt for answers. It’s all to do with chemicals in our brain trying to process what’s happened.
Your doing okay, you are and can do this. We have no choice. Have you spoken to your GP about what your going through? Mine has been brilliant and I’m just starting councelling.
I hope you have family and friends that are supporting you through this nightmare but if not keep posting here. This group of wonderful people have helped me so much. You can say or ask anything, there will always be someone along to say how they have coped.
I hope you and your daughter have lots of support. Sending you a big hug x
Dear Tamsy I am so sorry to hear your pain. As Helen said it’s a good idea to have a happy photo near you to be able to switch to when a bad one pops into your mind. It may take time but bit by bit the bad images will lose their strength. I imagine your GP will be arranging counselling though they often take time. This site does offer free counselling which may be an option. I hope you find some solace here where everyone understands the pain of a bereavement.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
@Tamsy96 this must be incredibly hard . I can identify with some of what you shared. I agree with the advice given by others who have commented. I do hope you have support around you
i feel where you are, lost my wife 15th sept at 48yrb of age suddenly and am numb i cant cry i cant accept the place is empty and why i keep expecting door to open and she just been shopping but sadly door stays closed is the lonely nights and as we was together 24/7 as i worked from home as she was disabled
I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife was so young too. As others have said your probably still in shock. Our brains become foggy and it’s difficult to function. For now just getting through the day is enough, don’t think about the future.
When I first joined I read old posts, things that were bothering me. There are some very knowledgeable people here who have shared how they coped. This group of wonderful people have helped me through the worst time of my life. Keep posting, there is always someone around to answer x
. I can identify with some of what you shared. I agree with the advice given by others who have commented. I do hope you have support around you 