I'm lost...

I lost my son 9 days ago,he was only 33,it feels like my whole world has collapsed,his brother is so devastated and I don’t know how to start processing this and trying to console my youngest,it all seems so unreal.

Dear @Tracey33

Welcome to the Community. I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your son.

Do you have family and friends around you that can support you? Have you chatted to your GP as to how they can also support you?

There are organisations that can offer support to you and your youngest child. I have listed them below.

The Compassionate Friends is for families who have loss a child of any age.
https://www.tcf.org.uk/

Child Bereavement [https://www.childbereavementuk.org] - They offer support to children, parents and families who have lost a family member.

You can also connect to members here under the topic Loss of a Child who have experienced what you are going through.

Please keep reaching out and take care of yourself.

Hi TraceyFarley33 am so sorry to hear about your son, my daughter Amy passed away in October she was only 36 and my best friend as well as my daughter, my heart breaks more each day we as parents should never have to Bury a child x

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I just feel so lost,I cry but only when I see someone and I feel like I should be crying all the time but I’m so numb it’s like my head has stopped working ,I just don’t know how to start the process of any of this,I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter,it isn’t the order is all I keep saying…

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Oh goshTraceyFarley33 only 9 days! Your still in shock , funeral , all sorts to do . I lost my son 7 months ago and the first few weeks I was sort of in denial but also at the same time in a panic as I sort of could not remember him. I can’t explain it’s the brain trying to cope but I thought if I try to remember my brain would explode or something. It was weird and frightening, there are so many strange and new feelings you will experience, I thought I was going mad , like I was in an alternative universe or something, but turning to this site I found so many others with the same feelings. All I could do was to try and keep breathing one minute to the next. Maybe your youngest should come on this site for help to, there are threads for siblings who have lost brothers and sisters but if under 18 there are other sites that can help. There are a lot of us on this site who have lost sons and daughters , keep posting and reading other people’s posts , we all listen, understand and try and support each other here as we are all at different stages on this awful journey of grief. I am so sorry you have lost your boy to.
Take care jss x

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Dear Tracey33

I’m so desperately sorry you’ve joined us, losing your child is absolutely crippling.

We know your pain. The shock takes a long time to start settling. I lost my younger son Henry shortly after his 30th birthday. Even now, writing it down seems like I’m talking about someone else…it can’t be true my lovely boy has gone on before me. :broken_heart:

Take each hour at a time…accept all the help you are offered. We are all here with you, please keep posting and sharing your feelings.

Sending love to you and your family
Purple

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Hi Tracey, i’m so sorry about the loss of your son. I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago. She was only 23 :sob: i’ve never felt such pain in my whole life. I feel sad and empty. Life will never be the same again. You are in my thought’s and prayers. Sending you a big hug :heart:

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Hi Jules
I’m sorry for the loss of your daughter. If I can do anything to help please ask,I still can’t get it to sink in,it all happened so quickly and now my life is on its head. My youngest is still as broken as I feel and I keep randomly crying,I have patience with no one and hate the world,I just don’t know how to start to deal with it.
I’m afraid my days of prayers are no more but I will keep you in my thoughts.
Sending lots of love…:heart:

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Tracy I am sorry. Your lovely son . I lost my daughter 6months ago & the pain is unbearable. You’ve done your first step. We are all here for you. Take care xx

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So sorry for your loss Tracey33. I think this is the worst feeling ever. I lost my son on Boxing day, just gone. He was only 34.
I knew it was coming but wasn’t prepared for it. I too keep crying at random times. I have some days when I’m ok then I can have a day when I’m back in misery.

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Hi Tracey,
I’ve just joined this site and have seen your heart breaking message…How are you getting on?
It’s the most devastating scenario isn’t it?
I too lost my beautiful son around the same time as you. It was very sudden and we still have no conclusive answers.
Please feel free to message me if you need to offload/chat.
Take care of yourself x

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Morning to everyone, I lost my beautiful amazing son 12 weeks ago . And I am really struggling just can’t stop crying I wake up every morning in crisis. Just can’t get my head around what has happened . I was in Ireland for my brothers anniversary when I got the call from my daughter that my son was gone. It was a sudden death . He was only 35 and his youngest brother found him in my bed . Omg how do you go on ? We were so close as I am with all my children . I feel I’m going to war every day

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Dear Teddy2,
My heart aches so much for you as I am going through exactly the same pain as you…It’s utterly soul destroying isn’t it !!! I wasn’t coping at all in the early weeks and my doctor put me on Sertraline which has massively helped me. All I can say is that we can expect the rawness to subside eventually. Whenever I start to cry I imagine my son getting cross with me, telling me to pull myself together and that helps. Maybe find a local group of other bereaved parents? I think talking to others that have been through the same horrendous experience must help in some way. I’ve also joined The Compassionate Friends and they have been hugely helpful (the local groups are organised by them).
I still don’t even believe that my gorgeous son is gone forever, it’s not something we were expecting to go through…My son was 27 and was found dead in his bed too, we are still waiting for toxicology reports 11weeks later…I’m hoping once we find out the cause of death we can somehow move on, but right now that seems impossible doesn’t it?!
If you ever need to chat please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Wishing you love and strength,
Tammy x

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Hi Tammy ,

Hi Tammy sorry for late response, yes it is very hard actually unbearable. I honestly don’t know what I am going to do ! I’m so lost haven’t got no energy to do anything just can’t be bothered with anything . Each day gets harder bad I have said it’s like I’m going to war everyday. It’s my sons birthday on Sunday which terrify me because his not here . I am lucky I have other children and five grandsons but I haven’t got him .!So bloody hard I’m buying flowers for his birthday instead of presents . Cruel life xxx

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Hi Teddy sorry to hear about the loss of your son. We’re all here with the same sad story. I am pleased to hear. You’ve been told to try compassionate friends. I thought I couldn’t possibly do another day without my daughter because the people around me are not getting the hurt am feeling. Compassionate friends have been amazing please reach out . You are in my prayers & thoughts. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::broken_heart:

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Thank you Maggie I will keep that in mind . Xxxx

Hi Tracey, Thank you for your kind message. So sorry for the loss of your son. It’s such unbearable pain. My life will never be the same again. I have ok days and really bad days. It’s so emotionally draining. Sending you a big hug x