I don’t want to do anything or be anywhere, because everything
reminds me of him,I still haven’t managed to go out alone,
I used to go everywhere with my husband.Now my son
always accompanies me just to go for a walk.
I’m accepting now the fact that the grief won’t stop, as love won’t stop.
Still it doen’t change the fact that it’s hard.
I will live, for my kids sake, but honestly if I don’t wake up again,
I feel that may be fine too.
Maybe I should push myself to do something-? But I just don’t want
to do anything at the moment.I get up everyday around 10 and go to sleep about 2am.It’s not ideal.
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God bless you, I so understand how you feel. Give yourself time x
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I understand how you all feel . It’s a limbo experience but I do try and do some things to ease the pain . I went to a local festival this weekend with some married friends . It does help to occupy my mind as when I have time to think it is horrific that I have lost my amazing husband at 58
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Hi jol … yeh i spoke to a dr on the allotment the other week and he said distraction is the key , for grief - my husband was 60 … too young isnt it ? Not fair we are widows so young 
xx
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@Deb5 no it’s not a club I expected to be in it’s crap my love . I keep thinking what sort of person will I become now I am alone . I don’t have any idea yet
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Well we can only do the best we can cant we ? I wouldnt worry about that. The main thing is that we survive and we handle this - because its a big deal …it reminds me of when i spilt up with my first boyfriend and i was heartbroken only a hell of a lot deeper you know …
I was thinking that the other day … i do miss male company … i miss him obviously the most but i miss having a man about i do have a male friend, but not same as a husband is it … i miss the sharing, being woken up in the morning with a cuppa, a cuddle, the chat … x
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Miss it all dont you ? Every single bit of it … mainly the small things too funny how all the big things like buying a house or a new car really dont matter anymore … its the love i miss … oh what i would give to get that love back !! xx
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I am 56 , didn’t expect to be in this club either , my husband had a sudden heart attack 9 weeks ago, my friend lost her husband 23 years ago to a brain tumour age 41, I said to her “didn’t think I would be joining the widows club yet !”Its just too soon what 30 maybe 40 years with out him ! X
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@Jane15 im so sorry for you the same happened to mine . I had a knot in my stomach for the first few months it was the shock . Always feel free to talk to us on here and look after yourself. X
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The shock of talking to someone one min, then having CPR on our living room floor, two days of hope in icu to then have to watch his life support turned off, how are you ever suppose to get over it. 9 weeks on, feels like 9 days x
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Jane, Hi
How do you get over it ? I honestly don’t think you do & not wanting to sound too cliche, I think we learn to live with it.
Very early days for you. People said to me “be kind to yourself “ & I used to think well could they be kind to me instead ! Now I do get that sentiment a bit , don’t criticise yourself or put yourself under pressure to meet others expectations.
Thinking of you 
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@Jane15 i am coming up for 2years and the truth is you get better at hiding your feelings. I will never get over how i watched my wife have a heart attack, and my daughter bring her back by cpr. Only for her to drift off. Myself and daughter carries this trauma, and as time goes on she takes some comfort in she was actually able to bring her mum back if only for a minute. I am gratful she did not suffer. Loss of a soulmate is loss of your soul. The battle goes on , and there are blue sky days. Stay safe , hugs allen
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Same story for me. 23 days ago, Cardiac arrest in bed. I did chest compressions for 15 mins until help arrived. They got his heart started, he was making attempts to breathe, his eyes were reactive. I thought he would survive. They induced a coma but he never woke up. They said he was having silent seizures, then they said there was brain damage. He lived for two weeks on life support. When that was stopped he lived another week. It was horrendous. He was fit and healthy, didn’t drink, never smoked.
Just a question, is it normal to still get the shakes? I was shaking for the first three or four days, then it stopped, but started again yesterday.
Hi Willow yes I think the shakes are normal. I am 8 weeks in since my beloved partner passed away suddenly ( and like you he had no medical conditions and wasn’t on any medication). I find my hands shake for no apparent reason and sometimes I feel like my heart is fluttering too. It’s a living nightmare. Hope you have good day today xx
@Willow112 and @jody honestly i cannot remember what i did in the first 3months just know for me it was a very scary time only getting through by my grandaughters radiance. My mind has blocked it out. So you are both doing really well. Virtual hugs allen.
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@Jane15 i was out of the country when it happened to mine . I know they couldn’t save him as his heart was full of fluid . It would have been even worse if I had been there . It doesn’t lessen the pain of loosing my soulmate
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I just struggle every day to see any point to life or purpose anymore. Everyone says be kind to yourself . But i dont feel like it as my life has fell apart in 9 weeks. The torment and loneliness is all consuming. Life as we know it , will never be the same ! to you all
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