Yes once again I am talking ( and crying ) to my Richard, reminiscing on our early days of places we went to, ie, village open gardens, Stately Homes garden shows and craft fairs…asking him if he remembers them, then telling him i am not living now, only surviving…
Jackie…
Just feeling depressed today, no Richard, my change of future and my MS illness…
Hi Jackie
Sorry you feel like this. I feel the same we used to go everywhere together. Meals out, holidays, walks in the country, games nights with friends. We was always laughing together except the last year we did a lot of crying together. Today is the day he got diagnosed with terminal cancer last year. So today I am crying a lot. So know how you feel. I try to keep myself busy to divert my mind. Knitting or crocheting helps. I have been in the garden today.
I hate this new life. My husband kept saying you have got to be strong. I keep repeating this to myself. Sometimes it works but sometimes I am a wreck.
Take care!
Anne
Anne…
…like many on our bereavement forum, i have not gone one day without crying…some days i can think straight, get things sorted, but not today…today is not one of them…
Yes " this new life none of us wants…" 20 years i had life so good…i always knew my bubble would burst one day…and it did…11th April mid day, found Richard dead in his armchair some time after he had come home minus our cocker spaniel dog who he had taken to the pet groomers, with the intention of doing the 20-30 minute drive back to collect him an hour or two later…he died of a heart blockage…
So today is not a good day for you as you are taken back to that fateful diagnoses that was to suddenly end your hubby’s life…yes there is always something that brings us back to the reality of " he-she, is not here anymore, i will never see his-her face nor hear his-her voice ever again."
Jackie…sending you a (( hug ))