Hello to you all,
I am just coming up to the second anniversary of my Mum’s passing and like the three of you I find some days very hard still. Other days I do find some happiness but come thumping back down to earth again all too quickly.
DaleJackie, I agree having good friends can make all the difference. I have learned that even if I don’t want to go out particularly to just go along and say I am not feeling brilliant so people understand if I am a bit quiet. Having people kind enough to bother with me an wanting to see me is not something I want to lose. Like you I have found some people have just faded away. One friend of 25 years I have lost touch with completely. Other vague acquaintances from 2 years ago are now close friends.
Greyone, I agree walking is a great comfort and chance to think. I try to have even a brief walk everyday to clear my head, also for exercise. Thank you for the idea of a Grief Journal which I will do as well. Finding what triggers off the pain would be a help to me. I started a Memories of Mum journal following a suggestion on this site which I also find helpful. When the day feels too dark and awful reading and tremembering happy times together with Mum and my Dad seems to help.
Joey, i too feel I am a different person and am sorry you are experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. I had those a number of years ago for work related stress and did see my doctor in the end. I was Given the weakest dose of antidepressants going which I hated taking but they did work and I was off them within two months so worth considering.
As a child I was painfully shy and fought for years to overcome this. Since losing my Mum I have found it has come back. Have others found this too? I moved house last year and am finding it quite hard to get to know people as dry up with conversation when I meet anyone new. Quite nice being in my own little bubble but not really good as would like to be part of my community.
Will stop now as this is turning into an essay!