I'm ready to lay him to rest

It’s three months since I lost my husband and his ashes are still with the funeral directors, I do feel so guilty for leaving him there so long but I just wasn’t ready to think about where to lay him to rest, but now is the time I think.
Has anyone else left it this long to decide where there last resting place should be.
Linda

Hi linda555,

My dad died 21 years ago and we still have his ashes in the house. When he first passed none of us knew what to do with them. He died so suddenly aged 53 that it wasnt something we had even thought about. Every year the subject would be raised and we agreed to decide ‘next year’.
Mum suddenly passed away in june and I left her ashes for 6 weeks at the funeral directors until guilt took over and I collected them. I now feel strongly that mum was holding onto dads ashes until she passed so we will be scattering them both together. The problem is that we don’t know what to do. I fancy scattering them at sea as they loved to visit the coast.
Selfishly, I don’t want a place where I feel I have to go and visit as I would find this too hard.
I’m keen to get this done before you winter gets here.
Cheryl x

I have Alan’s here at home with me in an engraved pewter urn and they will remain here until it is.my time.to join him. my mum scattered my dad’s ashes in the garden of remembrance, a friend arranged for her father’s ashes.to be buried in an 18" square plot in their local cemetery, the plot is sufficient to hold her mother’s ashes when it is her time to go. it is a personal choice on how long they’re left at the funeral parlour, also personal choice on their final resting place

my closest cousin is scattered along Talacre Beach. ☆

there’s no rules on how long you take to decide, just go with how you feel

hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today

blessings
Jen ☆

Linda,
PLease don’t feel guilty.
We can only do our best.
These are times we never thought we’d have to deal with.
We torture ourselves over what to do? what would they have wanted?
The only thing I do know is our loved ones would not want us to suffer or worry about what to do/doing the right thing.
If its any help I scattered half his ashes quite quickly over 2 favourite walks and the other half will go with his memorial stone .

Thanks jen

Its hard knowing what to do but I don’t think any decision is wrong like you said.
I personally would like to get them done asap as I feel they were waiting to go together.
I find it hard having her ashes here as well x

1 Like

Hi
My husband died in April and his ashes are still at the funeral directors. I initially couldn’t face going back to collect them and then decided to move house but I think I’m now ready to have him home for a little while before I set him free. It’s taken a while for me to decide where that will be too and I want to happy with my choice. It’s one of my regrets that when my husband was ill and we talked about many things that he didn’t say where he wanted to be.

Hi, my husband and I never discussed where we wanted to be put to rest. However his family have a share in a Woodland burial site and it was taken for granted that Brian would go there with other relatives. I was shown where he would go by his cousin but when I left felt that something wasn’t right. I asked Brian for guidance. Two days later I had a reply as I received a telephone call from someone that we hadn’t heard from for years who told me that Brian wanted to be in his home town with his grandparents, who brought him up. I immediately changed plans and a part of his grandparents grave was taken up and some of his ashes were placed there. I have the rest in a small urn that should have gone to an Island in Greece that we went to for years. I can’t face going out there again so I keep those ashes at home with me. I also have a locket that holds ashes and a photo and I wear that Locket on special occasions or when I’m going through a stressful time.
Don’t feel guilty it’s a very stressful time.

Hi Lynda it is 3 months since I lost my husband too . I have had his ashes at home for the last two months . He told me where he wanted his ashes to be scattered and I feel now is the time . It would have been our 47th wedding anniversary on Oct 7 so I realise now is the time to send him in his final journey even though I feel my heart is breaking I need to do it for him . You will know when it is time . There is no rules or time limit to do this just go with what your heart tells you .
Gill

1 Like

My husband passed away 2 years in. Am just gone, I had his ashes at the funeral directors as like you I couldn’t face taking the next step which I think is the FINAL goodbye. I had them with me at ho e for 2days before I scattered some of them on the river as he requested and I have the rest of them at home as I couldn’t bare to scatter them all. I have had a pendant made by Ashes to Glass and now I will always have part of him with me and close to my heart. You take all the time in the world as to when you make the decision when to do them, you will know when you are ready and the fu real directors will keep them for as long as you want them to. Take care.

2 Likes
Back to top