I lost my darling Dad October 1st last year. He was my world. I took him everywhere, all his hospital appointments, Drs, visited his friends, just a drive, a coffee and a greggs steak bake, he took me everywhere when i was growing up. Daddys little girl, we were inseperable.
When my Dad was end of life i moved back in with my parents (mum and i were his carers) and slept on the floor next to his hospital bed. I organised everything, everything. My mum was so grateful, Dad was a very special man and I will miss him forever.
I did my Dad’s eulogy, and my Son, whose role model was his Grampy, did his own speech at Dads funeral, it was beautiful. My brother literally did nothing. Didn’t even want to contribute to the family flowers (then the night before dad’s funeral his wife called me and wanted ME to organise some flowers from them! They didnt even know who the funeral directors were) I’ve since done ALL the paperwork, taken the financial burden off my parents for years and sorted all their bills and made every single phone call necessary over the past 10 years regarding discrepancies in bills, sorting home insurance, getting the tv repaired, booking care, booking meals to be delivered, the list is endless. And I did all this because my parents are incredible and i love them.and i WANTED to do this and they did ALL of this and more for my brother and I growing up. We didn’t have much in the way of money, or material things but we had their love, their time, their patience.
Im confused and upset more than angry i guess, but my Dad quite often told me that although he of course loved my brother he didnt like him very much. (He’s quite arrogant and very patronising) anyway before my Dad had even passed my brother told my mum that Dad had promised him his wedding ring… Dad had said the same thing to me years and months ago. Dad had dementia.
3 days after my dads funeral my sister in law messaged me asking me if i knew where the Will was and who the Executors were. I ignored it. Another message a couple of days later!! I told her i don’t want to discuss that yet, they were being insensitive and there was plenty of time. Fast forward 5 months of me sorting ALL the paperwork, probate, tax returns, solicitors, PoA, hmrc, pension credits, benefit paperwork, inland revenue, estate agents for probate, changing bills to mums name only (removing my Dads name and shredding paperwork with his name on was so upsetting) going down my mums every single day (bar about 5 since dad passed) me collecting Dads ashes, consoling mum, sorting out her meds, getting a doset box organised, helping her through her grief, taking mum out, keeping her busy or just sitting with her - whatever she wants - then for me arranging, with Mums approval, scattering Dads ashes on his first Heavenly Birthday, only to find out that my brother and his wife and grown up kids (who are lovely btw) are ALL going on holiday - literally on my Dads very first heavenly birthday. They go to the same place, every year, its only 2 hours away and they are away for a week. My brother hasnt even responded to my message. We were going to make it a special day, fish & chips (dads favourite) Dads music playing, ive got a little memorial stone for their garden and they cant be bothered to come. I can’t even believe they would plan to go away that first heavenly birthday.
They live 45 minutes from my mums place, today is the first time he has gone to see my mum in 2 weeks and he has just messaged me.
Mum has just given him Dads wedding ring.
I’m devastated, truly devastated.
My apologies for rambling on, but i needed to let it all out, how I’m feeling, I don’t know why. Im so hurt right now, that was special to me and he doesn’t deserve it.