I lost my Matthew 4 months ago . We spent the happiest 10 years together. I went away for the weekend with good friends and family it was lovely. Now im sitting in our flat on my own feeling more lonely than ever . Please tell me this will get better im really struggling
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I’m sorry for your loss @Gill37
Heather died 16 months ago and when people ask me if I feel any better I always say no. And this is true.
Recently someone asked me if I felt worse a year ago and I had to answer yes because this is also true.
I know that’s a contradiction but then nothing about this makes any sense to me.
I’m sorry if that’s not helpful.
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Hi Gill I’m sorry to hear that you are suffering. My wife died a little before your husband on Christmas day. I think things improve with time, the first couple of months were awful but the pain reduced leaving a loneliness that is difficult to fill with or without people. Now I find I’m better I often get a wave of darkness that comes over often at weekends and then retreats. I have a long way to go but it changes. I think it is very important to do things that help. I find walking very helpful, I think any form of exercise improves your health which helps with anxiety and sleep.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Thank you for your replies . My friends and family are there for me but they just aren’t Matthew . I know I’ll get to a better place with time but at the moment day to day is all I can manage .
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Dear Gill
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my wonderful husband nearly 10 months ago. All I can say what helped me was keeping busy. Like Tom said walking helps, just being outside helps me. You find that you a far stronger than you think, you have to be. We have no choice.
As time goes on I have had good days, yesterday I went out for the day with my sister and niece. We shopped, lunched and laughed, it was lovely to feel normal for a short time. Today is completely different, I could cry all day but I won’t. I miss my lovely husband every day all day but I know he’d want me to live and be as happy as I can be.
It really is one day at a time, thinking too much about the future is heartbreaking so I don’t. I face one thing at a time when I have too.
Enjoy the good days and get through the bad any way you can. The friends I’ve made in this group have kept me sane, keep posting x
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please helpme
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Are you OK
Good morning Helen, If you are finding your suffering too much for you to handle you must ask for help from GP or phone the emergency number. If you need to talk about how you are feeling or about your partner we are all hear to help eachother. Have you managed to find a bereavement group or anyone to talk to.
Please chat if you are lonely
Wishing you all the strength you need
Tom
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just so lonely i am going to phone samaritons
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Good Helen, you need to talk and later talking here helps. We are all here suffering together. Wishing you all the best
Tom
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thank you tom
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Look after yourself and keep posting it helps,
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I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Please phone the Samaritans. Since losing my darling husband nearly 11 months ago, I have suffered with terrible early morning panic/anxiety attacks, which were especially bad in the beginning. It’s the worst time of the day for me, as we would get up at the crack of dawn, get ready for work, make plans for the day which always held so much promise, and travelled to our place of work together (we worked at the same place). Please phone the Samaritans. I have done this on a number of occasions. Sometimes, just to hear another human voice is all that you need at that precise moment in time. It’s a horrible crushing/suffocating feeling and you just want to be rescued and for the debilitating pain and the loneliness to be taken away. Thinking of you… deep breaths.
Eve x
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@helen20 I’m so sorry that you’ve been feeling lonely, and I’m glad you reached out to the community. I’ve sent you a private message with further support.
@Gill37 I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling so much and feeling more lonely than ever. Your feelings are completely understandable after losing someone who was, and still is, so special to you. I hope the replies on your thread here have brought you some comfort and support so far.
Take care and keep posting if it helps 
Harriet
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I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes I stay over at my sister’s and I always find the house lonely and depressing when I return. Mornings are the worst. I’ve tried doing some work in the garden but it’s flared up my arthritic hip so I ll have to stop that. Evenings are better, I can distract myself with the TV. It’s hard when you’ve never been alone for a long time, 40 years in my case. I usually have the radio on in the background to take the edge off the silence. I wish I could say it will get better soon but I m just over seven months now and have days I feel a bit calmer, and others where I m triggered by everything. Your feelings are normal and your grief is still at an early stage. I wish I could be more helpful and positive but it’s something we have to bear and hope it will eventually get easier. Take care. Everyone on here understands.
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Dear Gill37!
My most beloved husband died last year. I still cry every day. The worst was the pain, now it’s a horrible anxiety, heavy dreams and beating loneliness. I try to find some joy in things that I liked… my garden full of birds, my church full of comfort, I’ve bought a scooter lately to drive to the places where me and my love used to go to… Other people take these things for granted, for me it’s a dream come true and incredible comfort…
Janka
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