Hi all. I lost my brother 8 months ago due to sudden heart failure. He was 45. Im 44. We were very close until the last 6 years of his life when he a got a girlfriend who he married and had kids. His wife was pregnant with twins when he died.
Nowadays im just scared ill die like him. My mum and dad died when i was younger of the same reason - heart failure. At night, when i ho to sleep, i feel sick as the adrenaline is corsing through me, every pain i feel in my chest makes me think im going to go…
I have good nights and bad nights. Ive had a lot of stress in regards to my wife and daughter and work as well which compounds the fear, but since my parents and brother are hone, i feel like i have no one to talk to. My wife cares but she hasnt gone through what i have so she foesnt know how to help.
Im just stressed and scared of everything nowadays. Some days ho by when i just wish itll end do i can get peace but im too stubborn for that. Though the way im going, ive a feeling my body will take care of that for me.
Im just lost, scared and lonely. Even though i have a wife and daughter, ive never felt so alone.
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your brother that brings you here.
Losing someone suddenly can be devastating, and bring feelings like shock, numbness and anxiety. Given how your brother died and how close in age you are, it’s completely understandable you would be scared of dying like him. It really does sound like this fear is having a big impact on your life. Have you spoken to your GP? If not, it may be a good idea to make an appointment and share how you are feeling.
You might also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful:
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Hello Markachu. I am so sorry to read of your pain on losing your brother. My brother died last October and I don’t feel as if I can live without him. Although I have a daughter I just feel so alone and wretched. I can’t offer any help other than to say that there are a lot of people going through this pain and we all have to read about each other and comfort each other. We just have to go on, one day at a time, and people tell me that the pain doesn’t go away but it mellows with time, allowing you to remember the good and happy times. I can’t do that yet, I can’t even read the letters he sent me. But I’ll keep on going, and you must too. A lot of us are with you in spirit.
So sorry for your loss . If you feel that heart trouble maybe is in the familly a visit to your own gp may help with the worry over heart problem .l am 81 and was told at 12 years old that after rheumatic fever and laying in bed for 3 years with no feeling in my legs it may have affected my heart at 81 l have been checked over a lot but all ok l have asthma moderately. I lost my wife 3 weeks ago so l feel as you do but a possible gp visit may rule out your biggest fear ken Oxford
Hi. I lost my brother 6 months ago. I can relate to what your going through so my mum past away at 69 and my dad passed away at 68 my brother was 57 Iam 45 and think my family members never lived pass the age of 70 which worries me like hell. I was very close to all my loved ones especially my brother and like you i find my grieving extremely hard at night most nights I can not settle untill early hours of the morning just thinking with my thoughts. And I too have my children and my husband but can feel so lonely at times. But I have to try to stay positive because if I do pass away before I am 70 I want to have done all those things I want to do in my life and to not let fear or anxiety get in my way.
You will find that people say "you shouldn’t think like that " but when you have 3 members of your family not living past 70 you simple can not help this. And I total get it as I am the same. Technically it’s 4 as my dad’s sister passed away at 69 as well but we were not that close.