I cannot sleep, I keep seeing the image of my dad as he lay there having passed away. The look in his eyes and on his face. Then the image of the body bag as he was collected by the funeral home. I tried to get there on time, driving over an hour to get to him, but arrived 1 min too late. He was not meant to go this quickly, he was meant to have weeks if not months left. If I had been there maybe I could have done something to save him. My mum had not told him that we were coming, I have no idea if he knew, I feel like he gave up as I wasn’t there. I don’t think I am going to get through this.
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You will get thru this believe me it just takes time and alot of it i missed my dads death to i knew it was coming but they said it cud take days but it happened sooner wen i wasnt there and in a way im glad cos i think it wud of been even harder to see him slip away its so hard losing a parent your never prepared for it an its coming up to a year now an there is hope i find talking about him helps and rembering the good , funny times it may look bleak an sad now but things do slowly get better believe me ive been where you are now sending big hugs.
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Thank you for responding. I am so sorry for your loss too. You are so right, losing a parent is shattering. The nurse arrived after I did as she had seen him in the morning but thought we still had a lot more time so he didn’t have all of the end of life meds. I hope to god he was not in pain or frightened. I miss him so much!
Hi
I just lost my Mum, but am also a nurse. I have seen many hundreds of people die over the years, and although it sounds strange, many patients “choose” to slip away when their loved ones are not there. It’s almost as if they want it to be a private thing, and just quietly slip away. My aunt stayed with her husband continuously for almost 3 days. The nurses persuaded her to go for a walk and get some fresh air and that is when he died. Maybe in a strange sort of way the dying are trying to protect us.
Don’t feel guilty, your dad wouldn’t want that. He knew you loved him and that is all that matters x
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Hello, So sorry to hear about your lovely Dad. I don’t think we ever know how long somebody has or when they will pass. My Dad passed last Thursday. So many things wrong with him but he had determined independence and wanted to stay in his own home. He has been in decline since Mum passed nearly 2 years ago. Every time we saw Dad he was never himself but none of us could have saved him. It was his time. My sister found him on the toilet. His eyes were closed. I keep thinking I should have known it was nearly time - but how do we ever know? I saw him on the Sunday and my husband saw him on Monday and the carers didn’t report anything out of the ordinary when they visited on the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. He had tea and crumpets in bed the day before. I’m so sorry I’m just wittering on… Im sure your Dad knew just how much you loved him. People often slip away when they are on their own. Xx
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