In a loop

All I seem to be able to think about is the tiny little room, where my son and I slept at the hospital, the night before .no windows, no air
We knew we we hold say goodbye in the morning when they turned the machines off
We are Chinese food, and all I was thinking was the Billy Joel song…this night.
I can’t play it now, and always, my mind turns to that room, the knowing , it makes me panic somehow, and I can’t move past it

Hi moonsail,

It sounds as though this is an incredibly upsetting loop that you’re in. It’s not unusual to keep returning to moments such as this and it’s something that others in this community have talked about before.

Have you got a support network around you? Friends or family members you can talk to about how you’re feeling, perhaps? It’s important to be able to share how you’re feeling and this site is somewhere you can do just that with people who understand what you’re going through.

If there’s anything I can do to support you, just let me know.

Take care,