In Dreams

Just sitting here alone watching a program on TV about Roy Orbison.
His song “In Dreams” gets to me every time I hear it.
Sitting here in tears.

"A candy-coloured clown they call the sandman
Tiptoes to my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper
Go to sleep, everything is alright

I close my eyes then I drift away
Into the magic night, I softly say
A silent prayer like dreamers do
Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you

In dreams I walk with you
In dreams I talk to you
In dreams you’re mine all of the time
We’re together in dreams, in dreams

But just before the dawn
I awake and find you gone
I can’t help it
I can’t help it
If I cry
I remember that you said goodbye

It’s too bad that all these things
Can only happen in my dreams
Only in dreams
In beautiful dreams"


This was the song that was played in the reflection part of my husband’s funeral. He came in to the music that was played for me walking down the aisle when we got married, “Cavalleria Rusticana,”and left to “It’s Your Life Now” by the Eagles. We both loved listening to Roy Orbison and that song in particular, and I just knew that it was right for his funeral. Everyone was reduced to tears. I noticed last night that there were a few Roy Orbison programmes on, and we’ve watched them all before and really enjoyed them together, but I couldn’t watch them last night. More than 6 1/2 months later I just feel devastated. X

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So sorry for the loss of your husband. 6 1/2 months is still early days and I can fully understand how devastated you are feeling. It’s 3 years and 2 months since I lost my partner, and I still cry over the littlest of things. I can’t say it gets easier in time, because for me it still feels like yesterday, and it hurts so much that he’s not here with me. Hopefully he’ll be in my dreams again soon.
Sending you a hug xx


I’m sorry for your loss too, and for everyone going through this. I’m so glad you posted the lyrics because it reminded me of how meaningful the words were for me and I found comfort from them at the funeral. The Eagles song was a very fitting song to leave us with, and said exactly what he would have wanted. I have just listened to the 3 pieces of music again and cried my eyes out, but I feel better for it if that makes any sense. I know that like you it won’t get much easier but I’m trying to negotiate life on my own after 42 years and it’s an uphill struggle. Often feels like one step forward and 2 steps back.
Sending hugs back xx


Im finding music is too painful for me, i have to turn off the radio or tv. I went to church for the first time since my husband passed and the theme was about love. They played Dolly Partons "love is like a butterfly " i was in tears at the words, cant remember them now but they were very apt to my situation. We loved each other very much, wed have been married 53 years in two days, and know each other since 15 at school, nearly 60 years in all. He was my soulmate, lover, and best friend.

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Hello @Miniaturist5
I understand your pain so well. We spent our whole adult life in contentment, having found the person who made us tick. And now we are left to try and find a way of carrying on. It’s so difficult to find comfort from anything, but maybe once the rawness fades you’ll be able to take comfort from some of the things you enjoyed before. I have just had the extra grief of losing my beloved dog, she was sent off to sleep on Thursday. I am struggling so badly, I’ve just returned to work and not coping very well. Struggling with the pressure of my job and I think I’ll have to retire a couple of years early.
I try to take hope from all our friends on this site who give us encouragement and support and many of whom have managed to find a way of coping with the new life that none of us wanted.
Sending you hugs and understanding xx

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Thank you, i just cant envisage my life without him, maybe for years, in all the years weve been married we were never away from each other for more than a couple of days. Its been 10 weeks more like 10 years!! Im having problems with my dog shes 14.1/2 and has spinal problems and weak back legs, shes now had a reoccurrence of an infection which is worse than before, so i hope shes ok.

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I echo everything you say. I also can’t imagine my way forward, all I want is what I had. Since my husband’s death my anxiety levels have gone through the roof and I feel like there’s a catastrophe waiting round every corner. This has been made worse by the death of my beloved Ariel just 7 months after Hunter. I live in dread all the time.
It’s so upsetting when our pets are ill. Hopefully she’ll rally from the infection and enjoy a while with you yet. Take care xx


It is worrying i know. Something funny but not funny happened this afternoon when one of my visitors went to leave we found that my Rosie had weed in her shoes!! Apparently she has six cats and i think rosie took umbridge, i felt really embarrassed, shes never done anything like that before. Thank goodness the lady’s shoes can be cleaned in washing machine.

Thank you @Miniaturist5, you have made me laugh for the first time in a while! I’ll be chuckling about that all night. I’ve always loved the fact that dogs express their feelings in very imaginative ways. Or maybe it was just the nearest “ commode” she could find :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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