Has anyone on here been to an in-person bereavement support group? If so, was it helpful? I am due to go to one on Wednesday, I’m meeting the lady who runs it tomorrow but I wonder whether it’ll be too much. I’m 5 weeks in from the loss of Andy.
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I looked for one but none around.
Waiting for counselling, September at the earliest.
Rose xx
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Yes I go to a group where people have lost their husbands or parents or siblings. Can pick up tips from others. Sometimes go somewhere with another person in same boat.
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Yes, I have.
It’s run by the local hospice but there is also a local group that our GP’s Social Prescriber signposted me to.
I found it helpful in the early days…some people went with friends, and some alone.
The volunteers were really caring, gentle and helpful.
I hope you find somewhere local.
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I have. Unfortunately we were just a couple of people who attended, but yes, it was nice to be able to talk openly about my grief with others who could relate. This forum is wonderful, but it’s different when you sit together and can see and hear each other. It depends a lot on the moderators, though, but hopefully they will be good!
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Thank you. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m worried there will be spouses of old patients of mine
but I suppose that doesn’t matter now! We’re all there for the same reason, because we have lost the other half of your whole and will never be whole again
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What a lovely photo xx
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Thank you, it’s a few years old now but I love it xx
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I met the lady who runs our local support group this morning, lovely but much older. She thinks it’s too early for me to go to the group. The other members are further along their ‘grief journey’ than me and the talk on Wednesday is about anniversaries, and as it will be our 10th wedding anniversary on Friday, it’ll be too raw. I felt like she didn’t want me upsetting the rest of the participants 
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Oh, wow, @Ginger68 . We can’t have that, can we?? Incredible. It’s a good job we have each other here.
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Hello,
I have been told by a couple of organisations that they felt a period of 6 months bereavement was when they would consider anyone. I was surprised but both organisations said that emotions would be too raw earlier than that.
Rose xx
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Well I didn’t want to attend at first myself even though I got a lot of pressure to do so. I found pressure counter productive. I couldn’t face crying and listening to other people. So I waited myself until I could face it. I felt very scared at first and couldn’t open up with too many others doing so. So I do get that it is tricky in some ways. So understand why being so raw is mentioned.
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Hi everyone. When I first lost Alan I was desperate to do all the ‘right’ things which included two bereavement groups locally. They were both absolutely awful. I wanted hope for the future from people who had been on or were on the same horrible journey. What I got was sidelong glances and eyes raised to the sky. And tutting can you believe. OK, I was (a lot) younger and maybe I challenged their clique somehow but they really damaged my belief in human kindness. But I dug deep and joined a drama group and started volunteering. Everyone knows my story (I have also had a very harsh diagnosis myself since I lost him) and they are just the best people. So, I guess my advice here is that support and kindness isn’t necessarily in the places that you would expect. Keep an open mind, try new things, meet different people and see where it takes you. I also decided that bereavement counselling wasn’t for me so I saw an amazing life coach instead who changed my whole perspective and allowed me to see my future in colour rather than grey (hope that makes sense). I’m now 8 months into my new life and, actually, its pretty good. At the beginning I couldn’t get up or get dressed or eat. But now I’m living every day, finding positives and enjoying life. I know that my boy would be so proud. So, to every one at the start of this dreadful journey, just do what you feel is best for you. If something gives you joy just go for it. And if it doesn’t, then refuse (even if you disagree with well meant advice). I hope everyone can find some glimmer of hope today. Much love x
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Hi @Ginger68 - i think it was around 5-6 weeks after losing my mum when i first joined a bereavement support group run by my local hospice and i remember that everything was extremely raw. They deliberately only held small groups to ensure everyone had a chance to talk - all the others were further along in their journey. I did spend a lot of time on the brink of tears. It sounds to me like if you have an anniversary coming up and theyre going to talk about anniversaries the organiser was more concerned about YOUR welfare, that it would just be too painful 
Indeed, later in our group meetings we welcomed a new person who was very recently bereaved - they were so distraught the whole time and dominated 90% of the session because they had so much to get off their chest (and it clearly would have been insensitive to try and close them down). But it did mean no one else got to share and have their needs met. So i think there is a very delicate balance and its not an easy job for the facilitators to ensure everyone benefits from the sessions. Please dont lose heart - it doesnt sound like shes saying youre not welcome, just that it might not be the best thing for you right now. 
Did she give you any idea of when might be an appropriate timescale?
PS ive also been to a support group which was much more focussed on the social aspects of rebuilding life after loss, not “group therapy” and i left that group because that was definitely too early - they were all chatting and laughing and i just wanted to talk about how heartbroken i felt. So not all groups have the same aims which is also worth asking about when joining a new group.
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I would definitely go
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