Thanks Walan - hopefully with time start will start to accept it.
But still some dark days ahead before thenš
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@MemoriesOfUs For them all that we witnessed is over. For us itās there to be lived. Thanks for this chat, your original post. Itās helped!
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I feel like I could have written this myself. My dad died on Wednesday last week and he died with us in a side room. He died within 2 hours of me being told he was very poorly. We got given a booklet, had to sit for three hours waiting for a young doctor who had just come on shift to come and verify the death and listen to his chest. We were told we could ask questions and he knew nothing about my dad. I walked in that day for a visit with a paper and a pack of biscuits and we left with his belongings. Like you, I feel trapped in reliving his last hours like some awful Groundhog Day.
So sorry for your loss, this really is a feeling like no other.
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@heartbroken77 I can totally relate to your post. In March, Iād gone to hospital to check on the progress being made for Dadās discharge that day. When I arrived no one could really look at me & when I walked up to his bed, I saw why. He was actively dying. I was led to a poky room as a Dr explained some random stuff that made no sense. A nurse came in & said he didnāt have long. I had to call my mum & siblings to get there. A few minutes later & the Dr said heād gone. I rang my mum to say it was too late. Iāll never forget her howl down the phone like a wounded animal. Youāre given his belongings & a leaflet explaining death protocols. 5 months on, itās as raw as ever. Coming here has given me comfort to know Iām not alone in this but this new existence terrifies me. Sorry youāre going through it & best wishes on this journey. X
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My son aged 47 who had learning disability died on the 17 th July 2023.He had bone Metastasis cancer,they were not sure where the primary was. He was diagnosed on the 25th April 2023.He Normally phoned me in the mornings from the hospital. It was a Monday morning at 8pm he had not phoned,I phoned him he said his arm had been hurting all night.I said had the doctors been, he said no ,the doctors would be late this morning as there is a doctors strike,
I said We are coming, as I had a feeling we need to be there, just a feeling a mother has.
We got there and I saw how bad he was, we held his hands. At 1.50 pm he said gI got to go now,I said where,he said I got to go now. I said where again ,he said death,then he just went. If I had not had the instinct to go to the hospital,we would not have been as visiting was 2pm to 8pm . We normally got there at 3pm each day,my beautiful son was waiting for us,and I just had the feeling someone came for him.
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I am so sorry for your loss. This too was my experience. I did not know what to do for the best. My Dadās passing was traumatic. I asked a nurse why he was so agitated and she said āit is because he is in painā. I donāt think I will ever get over that night. It has made me question what is the point. He worked hard all his life to provide for us and it ended with him in pain lay in his own mess. I think the worst part was when they ācleaned him upā and sent us out of the room and he was shouting out in pain. I really donāt know how I can erase that from my mind. He didnāt deserve that ending and there was nothing I could do.
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I know it is so hard, my son asked for the urine bottle.I got it for him,held it while he went,it was full of blood.when it goes from the bone into the bone marrow ,they bleed everywhere.it is so unfair
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