In The Real World - Roy Orbison

I’m having a real tearful day today, and came across this beautiful song “In The Real World” by Roy Orbison that I hadn’t heard before. It’s on you tube, the words are so beautiful so have your hankies ready if you do listen to it.

In dreams we do so many things
We set aside the rules we know
And fly the world so high
In great and shining rings

If only we could always live in dreams
If only we could make of life
What, in dreams, it seems

But in the real world
We must say our goodbyes
No matter if the love will live
It will never die

In the real world
There are things that we can’t change
And endings come to us
In ways that we can’t rearrange

I love you, and you love me
But sometimes we must let it be
In the real world
In the real world

When we were dreaming heart to heart
I wish that we had stayed right there
For when the dreamers do awake
The dreams do disappear

In the real world
There are things that we can’t change
And endings come to us
In ways that we can’t rearrange

I love you, and you love me
But sometimes we must let it be
In the real world
In the real world


Thank you. Just reading the words makes me cry. I still cry every day for my husband.

The real world is very cruel at times.

Take care.

As much as I loved listening to Roy Orbison, it’s just too painful now. I’ve tried, but his voice and the words hit home and bring me to tears every time, especially listening to In Dreams.
I have had to put all of his CDs away because I can’t listen to them without crying.
It’s an added heartache to think what he also went through.


Lovely song, sung by a lovely man, fellow Widower who lost his sons and passed away too early.

Listening to it lying on the sofa looking at the cloud’s with wet cheeks, in the real world unfortunately.

Our hearts are sad and the tears will flow, they have no weight but they carry such heavy feelings.
It’s a lonely and sad world now without our loved ones.


I returned home yesterday from our son’s house at 5.40. I have sat alone, no one has rang, if I try calling they text to say they are busy. How the hell is this now my life - I have no answers.

I do not want people to tell me to get a hobby, I cannot reinvent myself. I have started to do next door neighbour’s garden while she is in hospital and this takes up my time but couple’s walking past are continuing hammer blows to what I have lost and also for the most part they walk on by without even a polite hello.

It is so hard to find a new routine isn’t it? I lost my husband weeks after retiring so everything changed drastically. I’ve tried to keep busy both physically and mentally. I’ve never lived on my own, we married very young and I know my children worry about me. I don’t want to add to their grief either. I find the days I don’t see or hear from anyone are the times I feel sorry for myself. All I can do is carry on trying to keep occupied. At least I have decorated two rooms in the process (this is something that my husband regarded as his role) and I try to stay on top of the garden chores. I go out walking a few times a week too. There’s no painless way of coping it’s the price we pay for loving that person.

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Thank you. I have no routine except staying in bed if not having to look after the grandsons. Like yourself never lived alone until my husband died. I do not want to burden our kids, they are struggling with the tragic death of their dad. I remember my husband telling me to make more friends but that is not me and in anycase I just needed him.

I got up this morning - after day of not recognising the person in the mirror. I understand what you say about feeling sorry for ourselves and I do on occasions but at the same time I cannot accept that the existence I have now is something we ever deserved. My husband is missing so much in terms of the new grandsons and that is just heartbreaking.

Sheila 26, I know what you mean about having things taken from you. Both my husband & I have spent most of our lives helping and looking after relatives and when I finished work we hoped to have our time. So I feel cheated out of that. I try to be thankful for all the time we did have though. It would be easy to become bitter and I want to avoid that. Nevertheless it’s still makes me sad now our friends are able to enjoy each others company and do things together as that option for me is no more. Take care.

Yes it is difficult. My husband was killed in a motorbike accident. It is hard not to be angry, infact I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. I hated his motorbike and now it has taken him from me and left me with nothing. On the day he died all our plans were wiped out in an instant. I am on a waiting list for counselling to try and deal with the anger issues. When I asked his friends to persuade him to give up the motorbike a few years back they didn’t want to help. I do not blame them for his accident but they mocked my fears around motorbikes at the time to the point that I stopped going out socially with my husband if I thought they would be there because that was all they talked about. Needless to say none have been to my door nor sent their condolences to me and our kids. I used to try and tell my husband they were not friends merely individuals who had something in common. He wouldn’t listen and I am dealing with the consequences and devastation.

Sorry will stop there. I love my husband dearly I just needed him to have regard to what I was saying.

I fully get what you are saying. No wonder you feel that way as everything that you worried about happen ing did. Everything you feel is because you wanted him to be safe & still with you.

You are right safe and still with me is my greatest wish.

Unfortunately my husband only took up the motorbike mid-life. The statistics are heavily stacked against this age group and this was what prompted my fears. At my lowest point I always feel that the bike won and that he abandoned me for the bike. He was the most important thing in my life I just wish he had felt the same way.

At the time he died our little grandson was only 9 months and my husband adored him. We now have a second grandson. I cry for my loss and also everything my husband has lost.

Thank you for understanding.