Just received an email from the coroner asking me to provide a statement regarding my mum asking about her medical treatment upto her death in hospital and a general background. They have also asked if I want to attend the inquest in May, I feel I should but feel anxious about it as I don’t know what to expect. I just want my mum back which isn’t going to happen. Not great receiving this on Mother’s Day when I’m feeling emotional anyway.
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Hi @Victoria22
Sending hugs of support. This is so heartbreaking, & it was heartless of them to send you that on mother’s day. All I can say is breathe, take a moment for yourself, & think about what you want to say, to put your thoughts in order. When a parent passes, it’s quite a shock, I know when my mom passed I spent the first year on autopilot, if it helps, have a friend or family member go through it with you, partly to help you get all the information in order, partly for emotional support, going through everything that’s happened can bring up painful memories, & it’s good to have someone who can support you through that.
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So sorry for your loss. I was asked the same re: my dad… I thought… what on earth am I suppose to write in my messed up, grieving, head condition?! It’s so not the time is it… You do whatever feels right. I know at this time nothing does… but coming on here to talk was a good move… so you can do it!
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hi, im so sorry. Injust joined here, and idk when i will be back.
my dad died exactly a week ago. it was the hospitals fault, and he would still be here. im waiting to hear back from the coroner if he needs a pm. there will be either an investigation or inquest, as they fractured his arm.
9 years ago my mum was killed by medical negligence. we had an inquest. i feel so so bad for you, as it really is hell.
my dad helped me thru that, but now i am all alone. he was all i had. i only have one friend, in america.
contact the coroners service, i forgot the title, but they have ppl to help with families who attend the inquest. she took dad and me in the hearing room before it started, and explained everything.
im so sorry. xxx
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Sorry to hear about both your parents, it’s horrible thinking that if the hospitals took better care they may still be here. I’m on my own too, my dad died 3 years ago, he was successfully treated for cancer but as it was during COVID lockdown they failed to notice it had spread. My mum went into hospital with something fairly minor and got an infection. I’m dreading the inquest. Thanks xx
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Feeling so depressed, my mum’s inquest is in a couple of weeks and I received the preliminary paperwork today. The hospital has lied about several things including saying my mum agreed to a do not resuscitate notice. She told me they kept asking her about it and she told me that she’d always replied that of course she would want to be resuscitated. She was really scared of dying and in particular dying in hospital alone which is what happened. I’d gone home to have a quick rest and feed the cats, I’ll never forgive myself for that, I didn’t know she was going to die. I hate myself, it’s no wonder that I’m all alone.
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Hi @Victoria22
Pls don’t blame yourself for their incompetence, it’s not your fault, you couldn’t of known she was going to pass at that particular time of that particular day. It was understandable that you needed to rest, & feed the cats, you couldn’t of let them starve just to watch your mom 24/7, just on the off chance of when she may or may not pass. Sadly I’m not surprised the hospital lied, sadly one hand washes the other, people never want to admit when they were at fault, or accept responsibility. Despite this I hope they find the truth at the inquest 
. I’m sending you super sized hugs of support & positivity at this challenging time, keep faith, the truth will always out eventually.
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Bless you, Victoria. You sound like a wonderful daughter to your mum 
.
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I wish she was still here, the house is so empty without her. Thanks for your kind words x
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Thanks, I hope the truth comes out but it won’t bring my mum back. Hospitals never learn from their mistakes. Thanks for your kind words x
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Mum’s inquest next week, my anxiety levels are through the roof and my insomnia seems to be getting worse. I’d rather die in the street than go to the Sussex County Hospital, hope I don’t get ill.
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Hi @Victoria22
Sending super sized hugs of support, I know when I have problems sleeping, I try to calm my mind by playing word games, or thinking of my & my boyfriend’s imaginary island 
, it has sunshine, 
surfing for him, rainbow waterfalls, pandas, rabbits, & a pet unicorn, & has a special forcefield that prevents bad energy coming through. Sometimes listing things, ie- things I’m grateful for, songs or movies I love, things I like about myself. I know it won’t work for everyone, but for me, it usually calms my mind down focusing on something else enough, that I can at least get some sleep, even if I do end up waking up early.
Hope all goes well with the inquest, & look after yourself. Just a suggestion, but maybe pre-decide a special treat for yourself, for going through this, even if it’s just coffee & doughnuts, or seeing a movie, it won’t take away the worry, but hopefully it will at least give you something to look forward to.
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Thanks for your support xx
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Mum’s inquest tomorrow.
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Hi @Victoria22
Sending positive thoughts. I hope it all goes well tomorrow. Sending super sized comfort hugs of support. 
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Hi, im sorry i havent been back here, i wanted to help. i am thinking of you and sending you strength. i will be back to type more soon, when i can, but i am here.
our stories are so similar, i am here for you. they did a dnr on my mum without talking to us. she always wanted to be resuscitated too. she was terrified of dying, and it kills me that i let her down, and they went against her wishes. the hospital lied about everything. they even tried to blame me for stuff, most of it happened while i wasnt even there. hospitals are evil places, truly terrible.
im so upset you are going through this. i wish i could hug you. im so angry for you.
the consultant lied on the police statement. lied at the inquest. they stopped the inquest, proved hed lied, no one cared.
at the inquest i was banned from talking about mums care, so no lessons were learned.
theyve now lied about what happened to dad. the two staff members who dropped and assaulted him lied, and they will continue to lie.
i wish id been back here sooner, im so sorry. im in a really bad place trying to sort dads funeral, dealing with everything alone.
im not ignoring you, and will be back when i can. i wish i could do more.
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The Coroner and his team were really nice to us although they couldn’t do anything about the do not attempt CPR notice on mum as it was our word against theirs. They did change the cause of death to show that her death was partly caused by having polyps removed from her womb that eventually led to heart failure. My GP has put me on antidepressants, hopefully that will help with my insomnia too.
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Hi @Victoria22
The strange thing with things we worry about, like appointments & stuff, is the way time changes how we feel. For example, I had a number of medical appointments last year, with each one I was terrified, but after each one, it was over, so I didn’t need to worry about that appointment anymore.
I hope the inquest gave you some reassurance & peace of mind.
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Just having a bit of a meltdown, working at home today and Mum’s death certificate has just arrived in the post.