Is it me again

Brief catch up, to begin with.
6th months ago Helen my wife passed, due to corvid related complications, I have like anyone had the swings and roundabouts of emotional pain. Two days ago, I entered a phase, which I am aware is a normal part of the process.
Anger, anger at Helen, anger about so many situations that we had had, and that I have been left with.
Its sapping my energy, my motivation is down, again.
And what to do about this is playing heavily on my mind.

@Colin I don’t know of anything you can do (except for scream or cry or something maybe but these feelings are too big to solve for me). I am angry this evening but I prefer it to utter hopelessness I had overnight.

I wish we could feel happy and relaxed again like we did before this happened to us. I don’t know if we ever will but you’re not alone with these horrible feelings. I’m sorry I have no good advice. Are you still feeling the same now?

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I remember my Mum going through a stage where she was very angry when my Dad passed 20 years ago. The anger went it was a stage of grief.
I think it’s just a matter of letting time pass, until the anger goes away.

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To Fluer de lisle, and others.
6 months after Helen passed from corvid related respiratory problems, 17 days on from a previous entry, and a fews days away from what last year was a family event, a family pub meal for Christmas, so all could relax, let someone else cook, wash up etc. Had I not met a fabulous lady, and we mutually evolved a relationship, a more than amazing new life, the past year of corvid, isolation etc, could have been different in that the year would have ended and the new begun as a lonely singleton. So to my estranged family I will raise a glass on both days, in salute, wish you all the best wishes I have. And get on with life.

On Christmas day, I visited a beauty spot from the past, this involves a 5 to 6 mile hike mostly up.
Once at the top and adoring the view, as a greater amount of the scenery had a carpet of snow. I had taken a time capsule of Helen,'s personal effects, and placed these beneath a special location. Buried, I said a few words, and on the way home cried, sobbed, and said a few more words.
In a way, I have laid Helen to rest.
Today 5 days later, I have a calmer inner self

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I’m glad for you Colin. The time capsule idea is lovely and I am glad you found some peace. Take care and best wishes to you too.

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