First, the loss of one’s partner (my beloved Andrew), then my young friend losing her younger still brother in a senseless road traffic accident. Then the massive increase in the cost of living, inflation out of control, the war in Ukraine, climate change and yet more awful news from around the world.
It feels like the whole world is imploding slowly. In a way, I am thankful my partner is not around to see this gigantic mess. However, it makes the pain I feel worse rather than better.
I know I am meant to concentrate on my recovery, but how can you be optimistic when the world around you is going to pot?
I could have written that! Yes I have said the same to friends and my mum was a massive empath so felt everything. I think we are living through the hangover period of a massive historic event with covid, we’ve been living through something in the future they will teach in history books and talk about like we talk about the wars etc.
I try to remember when someone said, when there is bad times or disasters don’t look for those running from it, look for those running to it. Look at the people who are helping.
We can’t mend the world, we can do a little bit in our corner and it may be something as simple as making some gifts for a local nursing home, or helping a neighbour in their garden.
I totally feel the same way. My husband died eight years ago and I had slowly but surely started building a different kind of life for myself, it was totally different to the one I shared with Peter as I was alone and everything I did, I did alone as all our friends from the past vanished into thin air as they all still had their partners but I got used to being by myself, I went on days out with our friendship group and garden club, we met up once a month and it was enough for me.
Then the pandemic hit in 2019 and with the first year being on lockdown I didn’t see a soul unless it was from the pavement at the end of my garden and I became a recluse, now two years later it has been one thing after another like SSTC22 says, everything is out of control, people seem hell bent on hurting each other, violence on the streets all the time, the war in Ukraine, the cost of living is sky high, I am trying so hard to get back on my feet after the pandemic but I feel as though I am walking through thick mud and getting nowhere, our sons and their families seem to be still locked into the Covid mode, no longer visiting me, only text messages now and again.
I decided last week that enough is enough, I have ordered top of the range multi vitamins, St. John’s wort tablets, and Cider Vinegar from a well known brewery. I have decided to start eating properly, I haven’t cooked myself a meal for eight years, I just buy Marks and Spencer ready meals, I have gained 2 stone with all the junk I am eating so I am now going to put on my big girl pants and look after myself.
I have stopped reading the news as I feel like giving everyone a slap and don’t talk to me about Katie Price, she really gets my back up. I honestly think the world is going to hell in a handcart but I am now going to ensure it doesn’t take me with it. I may have another 10/15 years left and I will be damned if I leave this world a miserable old biddy. When I meet my Peter in the afterlife, I want to ensure I am looking my best and am still the cheerful girl/woman that he remembered.
I love your energy! I keep trying to think of it as when I see my Mum again in the next life I have plenty of good stuff to tell her that I’ve done, tried to do or tried to help others with.
I’ve stop watching the news it’s so depressing, only have it on in the mornings for a time check for work.
Doug would be absolutely horrified if he knew, how much energy bills have gone up, if he was still here it would have worried him.
But your right Beki it’s the little things we can do to help our planet, that’s why I donate to plant trees.
Debbie X
Hey well done you. In all this grief sometimes something just hits you and enough is enough. It’s only been just over a year for me and although I have family and friends who have been brilliant I too feel so alone sometimes. I met up with my cousin who was over from Australia and he asked me to visit and after dismissing it totally I suddenly phoned him and accepted his offer!! My sons and family are delighted so I’m off to Aus on my own stopping in Singapore on the way. I am surprised as anyone else. We’ve all had a tough time and it’s been so long for you but making a decision to live the rest of your life as healthy as you can is one big step in the right direction.
Well done you, that is fantastic, you are really pulling up your big girl pants and going into action big time. I wish I was as brave as you, thinking about a holiday in Scotland on my own gives me the Colly wobbles as I have Directional problems and can get lost very quickly.
I hope you have a lovely time and I know your lovely husband will be with you every step of the way.
I may well follow in your footsteps and make a two-week trip to Italy in August. I would be visiting my friend who lost her young brother last week. I miss not being able to see her. It is Andrew’s birthday on 5 August and hers on 14 August, so it would be nice and supportive for us both to celebrate them together. I have not been to Padua for many years but from what I remember it is a beautiful city and very close to Venice. I went with my family several decades ago.
I just need a change of scene for a little while. I will be taking some of Andrew’s ashes with me in a teardrop-shaped mini-urn.
Oh please do go. Even thinking about my trip and planning bits and pieces have made me feel better. It’s no miracle cure I know that but to have something, anything to look forward to really does help me. I just love Italy we went to Sorrento on my 60th and it was beautiful. A place someday I hope to return to.
Not sure how I’ll feel when I get back but hey I’ll deal with that then. Not going till the New Year as I have other stuff going on between now and then and Jan and Feb here is so depressing I am sure some sunshine will do me the world of good.
It’s a tough life for a lot of people now , state pension doesn’t go far ! I decided to carry on working just a few days a week, for company , social and to earn a bit more to have a reasonable amount to live on!! , it’s about the only thing I do that’s gets me out of the loneliness at the house, the increase of living bills, food, petrol has impacted the ability to just get on day by day, I’ve taken a dip in my mental health with all the worrying about just about everything! Just when you feel you are coping and building on the heartache of loosing your loved one (Tony) things all around us is ripping any amount of coping away ,