Is it normal not to cry?

I lost my partner 2 weeks ago and 2 days later lost my lovely mum. Is it normal to just feel numb? I want to cry but can’t.

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@Macie

I am so sorry for your losses, bless you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Your feelings are completely normal. You’ll feel feelings and emotions that you have never experienced before, they will fluctuate and be intense at times.

I’m glad you’ve found us, this is a safe place to let our your feelings. People on here are supportive and truly understand. Keep reaching out, there is always someone to talk to and there is no judgement.

Sending lots of love and strength xx :heart::purple_heart::heart:

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I think that there is no normal. I lost my wife 6 months ago… i feel bereft and empty but seldom cry. Others in the family start to cry as soon as her name is mentioned. I felt guilty not crying at first, then realised what others thought didnt matter. Im crying inside all the time… everytine i see her photo i find it so tricky to think she is no longer here.

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Completely understandable to feel numb and empty. I’ve had three losses within a 5 week period, and I have felt numb and empty
, where all the feelings are so overwhelming, I don’t know what I’m feeling sometimes

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Of course it’s normal We are all very different Sometimes people cry but they are not really so upset others don’t cry but their heart is breaking No rules in grieving

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There is no right or wrong in grief we are all individual, I am only just over 3 weeks in and i cry all the time. But i remembered my neighbour losing her husband and after the first few days she never cried. I remember her asking if it was nirmal. Xxxx

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Hello Macie

I could not cry for many days after my brother died, but then it hit me hard. Sorry, it will come. It might be best to talk to some friends. I didn’t and I wished I had.

Nick

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Do whatever feels natural for you Tears are just tears if crying is helping you , well do it . If you don’t cry doesn’t matter you still loved that special person It’s your grief your person who died Blessings be yourself

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if I’m on my own in the flat I’m quite emotional and still am. It be a year since I lost my mum. Memories trigger me and I’m full of them after 50 odd years with my mum. Even worst as I am having to deal with Myaloma cancer too.

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I have just lost my mum after a long illness. I thought i would be crying more than i am. And family and friends keep commenting on how surprisingly strong i appear. I am worried it means i didnt love my mum or dont care about her as much as i thought i did. But , I know this is not true, my mum meant so much to me.

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Yes. You never know when something particular will make you cry.

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I’m sure your mum knew, I lost my mum in August last year. I been through those teary days too, not doing much. So we all know we’re you are coming from with the loss of your mum. Hope you feeling a little bit better today, you will have your good and bad days, stay strong. Sending hugs in your time of grieve!

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Im on antidepressants (mertazipine) and im wondering …are they are stopping me from crying??
I feel like im not as emotional as i thought i would be since she died.
Ive been on them for 20 days now.
My mum died 9 days ago. She was poorly before she died.
The antidepressants are working already , i am eating and sleeping, where as before i wasnt.
My mum meant the world to me.

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Sorry for your losses. People handle things in different ways. My Dad who was my best friend passed away just before Christmas and although I have cried, I haven’t cried very much at all. I have had moments of loneliness and anger more than tears. It doesn’t mean you’re abnormal or uncaring, we just all react differently.

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My darling husband died 10 months ago. I didn’t cry. Partly due to anti depressants I think but also due to my brain going into denial. Threw myself into renovating the house, going out, working, being busy. Everyone said I was “coping so well”. The last couple of months the grief has hit me like a train and I can’t stop crying. There is no timeline on grief.

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My mum was in a care home for a few years. I felt guilty her being there, but due to circumstances, there was no alternative. With in that time dementia set in.
When she passed away that day, i had no tears, at the funeral i had no tears. It didnt make sense, i loved her too bits.
Now after losing another loved one recently i realize i didnt really go fully through the greiving process after mum died. I grieved for her when she was alive, but didn’t realise it. After dementia set in she was no longer the mum i knew. She was such a quite gentle lady, never interfered ,would never swear ,and she was very loving. BUT the dementia changed all that…
She began to constantly swear, she would hit and punch the carer’s, she would refuse to see me and there were many other out of character things. Although i had no tears i did love her till the end and still do.
To all those with family members with dementia, stay strong. We are the ones that hurt, watching them change . But we never stop loving them.

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My husband died 3 weeks and one day ago. I cried the day he died, the day before, and the day of, his funeral.

I haven’t cried again. I don’t know why.

I feel numb. It may be shock, I don’t know the difference.

My life is hour by hour as I sort through the stuff that I must do. I stay busy with tedious tasks - there are always things to do. I chat with friends when I need to and mostly stay inside my house alone because that is what feels best right now,

We all understand. We all care and we all sympathize. We are the “walking wounded”.

You will survive this painful time. We all will as we have no choice.

Meanwhile, may peace be upon you.

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