Is it normal

My dad died Dec 27th, I am sad that he’s not here but know his body couldn’t take any more. I am really struggling to cope with pressure at work and when i try to socialise I feel flat and sometimes like I’m there but in a world of my own. What can I do or do I just go with it and it will change eventually?

Hi MGB

Yes, feeling flat it is normal. You are still in the early stages of grief. You are trying to carry on as normal but nothing is. You have lost your Dad. A very important person in your life. My husband died in October and my two sons are feeling exactly the same as you. Some days are better than others. You really do have to take time to process what has happened. These feelings will pass but grieving can’t be rushed.

Take care of yourself and in time these feelings will go and only the happy memories will remain.

Yvonne

Thank you Yvonne. I feel I’m going a little mad at times and needed to know if this was normal. X

Hi I am the same as lost my mum on 29th December with Dementia and I always thought as grieved so much for my mum over the last year’s the relief of the final goodbye would be easier. But I cry every day and feel very sad still. There is just normal for grieving I think everyone copes differently. So don’t worry if you are still sad as it takes as longoing as it takes. I lost my dad 30 years ago but the grief I am going through this time is different to that so it seems grief is different for the same person too. Try to take time for yourself and let your tears flow if they need to. I cried the hardest I have cried since mum passed last Friday so it took a while. But just had tears to day wanting one last proper conversation with her as the dementia took that away years ago but I always hoped to get something. So perhaps my hope lives on so it’s disappointment I cry for I think I don’t know. But after 7 plus years of crying seems still plenty more to come. I think it’s normal to miss someone you loved forever.

Hi

I lost my dad 18 Dec , 4 years ago. I would say for the first 3 months I was In a complete daze/ fuzz. Then just as I was starting to feel like embracing life my husband left me. I crawled very far back under my stone . I’d say it was easily another 3 months before I even could tackle simple things. In all I’d say it was 3 years before I started to feel I was finally normal again. I had to grieve my dad before i could even contemplate dealing with the husband situation.
I have just had a very good friend who died . Pretty much just as I was starting to get into the swing of feeling good again.
It’s very early days. He died 20th February. I thought I’d go completely mental this time as it is all too much together. But this time I hit the brick wall when he got the terminal diagnosis and he helped me through. I’ve no idea how I’ll cope long term but I know I’ve done it before and that gives me confidence to know I can come out the other end. I also know I did some crazy things when my dad died that make no sense now. So I just accept now that if something seems important i just go with it even if I don’t fully understand. I think you just have to go with the flow and talk as much as you can to people about how you are feeling.
Also there’s a time that everyone else starts to forget and you are still deeply grieving. That’s where I am now. Possibly where you are too. So you start to question your own time frame. But it will take as long as it takes and you can’t hurry it up. It does eventually improve. Even today my mum was missing my dad as we were all out together and she reduced myself and my daughter to tears about him with one comment.
Because my friend desperately wanted me to be happy after everything I’d been through I’m trying my best. I’ve learned to love life again and I definitely feel I’ve learned to cope s lot better. I’ve also learned to share when I’m feeling awful and reach out.
Just be patient with yourself. There’s no rule book on this one

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