I have to spend it looking after someone and all I want is to be alone and think about my Mum. Last year I had to take him to the hospital as he had been verbally abusive with delirium. I keep thinking surely it can’t be that bad this year and I will have time to think about my Mum and just grieve. Being alone isn’t the best but being with someone who won’t talk about or honour the memory of your loved one is ghastly. I am sending love to all who are going through this and hoping you find some comfort and peace.
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Stay strong I no it’s hard your mum will be looking down on you and give u the strength 
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So sorry you are going through all that. Its a really bad time for you which makes it far harder at this time of year. I had my mom with a brain tumour and my husband really ill at the time awaiting a transplant. They’re both gone now but it’s as though everything is thrown at you at the same time. First Christmas on my own as ive chosen that. I have been invited to go out but don’t think i could face it this year. It’s only one day after all. Look after yourself as that’s very important. Take care. X
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I know what I’m going through isn’t the worst thing in the world. I am so angry nowadays, just watching the news for a couple of minutes the horrors people inflict on each other and the way we turn our minds elsewhere when it gets tough make me ashamed. The people who go out to help get hurt too. That’s why the ‘friends’ who served platitudes or just dismiss grief leave me cold. Every person has their own burden and we should all give each other encouragement or empathy not oneupmanship.
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