It will be 9 weeks this Saturday since I lost my beloved husband. The thought of Christmas without him fills me with absolute dread. I don’t have family near me and I don’t drive, I know hardly any people in my area as we kept ourselves to ourselves. I feel safe and comfortable in our home so happy to spend Christmas by myself. My family and friends are horrified by this but surely it’s my choice?
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Definitely your choice. If it wasn’t for my two boys (13 and 14) I’d stay home and pretend it’s not happening. I’m dreading it x
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I lost my mum 2 years ago this Christmas and now my husband has gone I really don’t want to do Christmas this year. People keep saying to me oh you can’t have Christmas by yourself but to me it’s no different to any other day now. I’m sure my husband would hate the fact I’m being like this but I’m sure he’d understand too.x
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One thing I’ve learnt is do what YOU want, I’ve never been that fussed about Christmas but my husband loved it so I feel I need to make and effort for the kids sake. May even play a shitty board game in his memory. He only died Tuesday so just trying to get through each day. Got to get through my sons 15 birthday next week too. Oh and then it would have been my husbands 44th birthday 28th December. All come at once 
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I have followed your posts for quite a while now and often wondered how you cope knowing how ill your husband was,nursing him and looking after your two sons and now having just read your comment saying that he passed away on Tuesday just increases the pain. I am sorry to hear your news and send you my best wishes for everything you need to carry on. Take care.
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I’m very much with you on this one,sod what other people think or suggest. Tell them if they want to swap places then fine but until they know how you feel zip it. lol.
I have been in quite a bit of turmoil about Xmas,no family close by,no friends because I never needed or worked to develop them and simply dread the thought of Xmas in any shape or form. I’m trying to avoid shops and town centres because I don’t want to hear Xmas carols etc,
I have spent weeks considering going away; The Caribean,Canary Isles,Spain where we lived,Isle of Wight,Scotland,Ilkley,Eastbourne … seriously no wonder I feel as though I’m going mad.
I have now decided to stay at home and live with the pain,also going to do some decorating so come the 23rd December I will have everything I need so doors locked and the radio on. Somehow I’m starting to feel it’s the right thing to do. It isn’t going to be very nice but it would be worse if I had to spend it with family or friends.
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@Nori omg I didn’t realise it was that recent. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy no matter what time of year but you have a lot going on. Sending lots of love to you and your boys.x
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@miker so sorry for your loss also it’s such a hard thing to deal with. I’ve also been trying to avoid shops but I work in one so need to get used to being back around people. I’ve been off work 8 weeks and I know for my own sanity I need to go back. I’m spending too much time on my own. My workplace has been understanding and supportive. I’m going in tomorrow to discuss a phased return. Sending you a hug.
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I can’t do Xmas anymore I lost my sister and mum 3 weeks apart Dec/Jan my sister took her own life 
You should do what you feel is right for you don’t feel pressured into doing something it’s only 1 day of the year you could always say that you will meet up them ither before or after Xmas please be kind to yourself
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I too have decided to spend Christmas alone. People round here don’t even speak so it suits me. Would have been husband’s birthday January also our anniversary in January…to be honest i really don’t feel like putting on a brave face for any one or to make them feel uncomfortable. I’ve got my dog and I’ll be fine. I think it’s up to us to decide what to do. Take care
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