I lost my beautiful husband only last September, it wasn’t expected (although he hadn’t been well for some time) he had recently started home dialysis which we both struggled with. I won’t say anymore only to say how much i miss him.
During our 50 years together we made many friends around the world especially in the USA. Our great friends in Florida have invited me out to visit them as had my sister-in-law in Las Vegas. I have decided to go but am now having second thoughts. Will i be able to cope with being somewhere where we spent so much time together? I think being with his sister may be alright but I’m getting a nervous tummy every time I think about it. Also travelling alone is daunting.
Has anyone got any thoughts on this? Am I making a big mistake?
Hi @Ruby46 ,
My wife died at the end of September 2023, our eldest daughter lives and works abroad and went back after coming home to be with her Mum in the last weeks and for the funeral, etc. So our youngest and I went over to see her for Christmas and New Year.
Not a holiday as such but to spend time together and create new memories. This was the first time I had been abroad since the pandemic and my wife’s diagnosis, including flying back to the UK on my own.
So do what you feel most comfortable with, it is not too soon if being with friends and talking about your husband, etc helps you through your grief journey.
Be kind to yourself… Pete
Hiya, I’m sorry that you have this dilemma. My gorgeous Alan passed away at Christmas with no symptoms or warning. Absolutely devastating. We had a few trips booked for this year (including our wedding on a cruise in November) and I have been faced with the ‘what do I do’ question. But I’ve decided to bite the bullet and go! The first one (a cruise again) is in April. Once the decision was made ( and the balance paid) I felt so much better. It’s something to focus on and, I must admit, I am sneakily looking forward to it. I feel like I have taken control of the grief and there is a hint of ‘me’ coming back. Obviously I can’t advise whether you should travel or not but isn’t the saying ‘ you always regret what you don’t do’? I have so much respect for everyone here and I applaud every little triumph. It’s very very difficult on your own but we are survivors aren’t we? Good luck with your decision (and maybe your travels). Take care x
Go for it, my wife died 8 weeks ago today, I’m going to Australia in September, so I admittedly, I’m going to see my sister, but the thought of going anywhere without her is so sad, I have time to get used too the idea, I sat there a week ago, and messaged my sister, can I come over and see you, I booked the flights that night so I couldn’t change my mind in the morning, so as I said, go for it.
@Ruby46 my husband died in September too. I went to see my sister who lives in Spain, in December. It was hard, not while I was there, as he’d never been, but the travelling. A friend said if you need help just ask, there are always people only to willing to help. People you know and don’t. H
But I’m going away on my own next week for a few days and I’m going on a cruise with a friend soon.
I think he’d want me to “go grab life”
But go with what you feel comfortable with.
@Ruby46 you will be taking your husband with you in your heart. It will be hard travelling on your own but once you have done it hopefully it will get easier. At times you might get triggers but hopefully you will be in a safe place and will get support from your family and friends. Keep reaching out on here as well.
Take care and big hugs xx
I have just been to Blackpool with a friend for the weekend. My husband passed may 2023 it was my first break away. I looked forward to going but the first night was awful, I had a total meltdown outside the hotel. I wanted to go home but didn’t want to spoil things for my friend. I persivered it. But since coming home I feel I have gone backwards in my grieving. But willing to try again soon.
I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly in December 2022 and we had a couple of holidays booked. The first one I cancelled and the second one I decided to go on which was abroad. We were meant to be going with my husband best friend and his wife, I took my best friend and yes it was very hard on some days with massive meltdowns. Thankfully my friends were very supportive and understanding. On return was the hardest part of the holiday because of coming home to a empty house and not be able to tell my husband all about my trip which is ironic as if he hadn’t died he would of been with us on holiday. I have been away a couple of times since and yes much easier than last time. Hopefully we will get to enjoy our trips again in the future Xx