Is there a way forward?

I lost my husband of 34 years in December 2019. He had a massive stroke in November 2017. That was when our life was turned upside down. Peter was nursed at home but deteriorated and went into a nursing home. Even though the outcome was inevitable I was still unprepared for his passing. Lockdown has meant I could do nothing about the loneliness. My only support is my son who lives 50 miles away and is himself disabled. I feel I should be giving him support but am so exhausted. I don’t feel justified in asking for help when everyone has problems at this time.

Linda you have been through so much. I have so much respect for you. Just by coming on here you are asking for help and there is nothing wrong with that. I’m new on here and my grief is very raw. Already this site has helped me say how I’m feeling. Sending hugs💙

Thank you for your reply. My head is spinning, I feel I could write a book and then an empty page is so daunting. No one can give advice just support. Today I started a journal to explain to Peter my thoughts. I’m not sure it will help but I want to talk to him and ask his advice all the time.

Hi Linda. Sorry you find yourself here. You will find many on here that understands how you feel. I came on here last month looking for support and you will find many are. I suddenly and tragically lost my wife aged 53 and on may. I still am totally devistated but the kind words from people on here has helped me.
I have done lots of posts about how I’m feeling as often extremely low and many have helped in lifting me up.

Linda I started writing in my diary. Then I didn’t know what to say. Say anything you want in here. Talk to him as if he was there with you. I’ve started doing that. Anything that’s right for you💙

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I find there are many many triggers to make you sad. Last night I experienced the opposite. Every night as we went to bed we would go outside or look outside. Last night when I looked out there was the most beautiful double rainbow , it gave me hope.

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That’s amazing. Little things will help us through this💙

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Hi Linda
I lost my June a month ago, funeral this week. I started writing to her every evening about a week ago. I find it easy as I just write about how I feel - lonely, lifeless , angry, and i tell her what I’ve been doing during the day and what I should be doing tomorrow. I don’t know if it actually helps, but I can pretend that she will read it, even when the ink is smugged with my tears. There’s no right thing to do - just do whatever you need to.

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